You Knew This Was Coming...

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You Knew This Was Coming...
Fri Dec 07, 2012 10:55 am
  • Step aside Chuck Norris...


    Russell Wilson's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

    Russell Wilson counted to infinity... Twice.

    If you can see Russell Wilson, he can see you. If you can't see Russell Wilson you may be only seconds away from death.

    Russell Wilson sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled quarterbacking ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Russell Wilson roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker the second Wednesday of every month.

    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for Russell Wilson.

    Russell Wilson built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Russell Wilson met all three bullets with his helmet, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

    They once made a "Russell Wilson" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

    A blind man once stepped on Russell Wilson's shoe. Russell replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Russell Wilson!" The mere mention of his name cured this mans blindness.

    Russell Wilson uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

    If you spell Russell Wilson in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

    Russell Wilson once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Russell Wilson re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

    Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Russell Wilson's warm-up exercises.

    Russell Wilson is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will score a game-winning touchdown.

    Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Russell Wilson.
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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Fri Dec 07, 2012 11:20 am
  • Somebody posted these back in September. I had to save them

    Russell Wilson won American Idol using only sign language

    Russell Wilson has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.

    When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had 2
    missed calls from Russell Wilson.

    Russell Wilson can touch MC Hammer

    If Russell Wilson were to steal your girlfriend, you would cry because he didn't choose you.

    Bigfoot was spotted recently. It was seen taking pictures of Russell Wilson.

    Russell Wilson won a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

    There is no "CTRL" button on Russell Wilson's computer, because he is always in control.

    The Boogey Man checks under his bed for Russell Wilson

    Russell Wilson once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a practical joke... that truck is now known as Optimus Prime

    Russell Wilson beat Halo 1, 2, and 3 on Legendary with a Guitar Hero controller.

    Russell Wilson threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

    Russell Wilson doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage

    There are two hands that can beat a royal flush. Russell Wilson's left and right hand.

    Russell Wilson always tests positive for steroids. Not that he uses steroids. It's because steroids are made from Russell Wilson.

    Russell Wilson once shot himself in the leg five times to see what pain feels like. It didn't work.

    Russell Wilson built The Great Pyramid in Egypt just to teach some kids basic geometry.

    Russell Wilson once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Fri Dec 07, 2012 11:21 am
  • If you spell Russell Wilson in Scrabble, you win. Forever.


    That is a Pete Carroll joke too :)
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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Fri Dec 07, 2012 11:28 am
  • there is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Russell Wilson allows to live.

    Crop circles are Russell Wilson's way of letting corn know that sometimes it needs to lie the heck down.

    Russell Wilson just pissed your pants.

    Russell Wilson CAN believe it's not butter.

    When Russell Wilson looks in a mirror, the mirror immediately breaks, because not even glass is stupid enough to come between Russell Wilson and Russell Wilson.

    Russell Wilson can sing in braille.
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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Fri Dec 07, 2012 11:35 am
  • My wife confessed to me last night that she thinks about Russell Wilson while we make love................I told her it's OK, I do too.
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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Fri Dec 07, 2012 11:37 am
  • Pretty funny stuff. Russell Wilson is certainly becoming a household favorite around the Starr house...
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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Fri Dec 07, 2012 11:47 am
  • Sgt. Largent wrote:My wife confessed to me last night that she thinks about Russell Wilson while we make love................I told her it's OK, I do too.

    :laugh:
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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Fri Dec 07, 2012 12:02 pm
  • Seahwkgal wrote:
    Sgt. Largent wrote:My wife confessed to me last night that she thinks about Russell Wilson while we make love................I told her it's OK, I do too.

    :laugh:

    ROTFLMAO!
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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Fri Dec 07, 2012 12:05 pm
  • During the season at Renton a pigeon hit a pole and died. RW picked it up and blew on it and it flew away.
    The sun came out and it even stopped raining.

    It never stops Raining like that it was a miracle .
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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Fri Dec 07, 2012 1:06 pm
  • Happypuppy wrote:During the season at Renton a pigeon hit a pole and died. RW picked it up and blew on it and it flew away.
    The sun came out and it even stopped raining.

    It never stops Raining like that it was a miracle .


    These are much funnier when you don't have to try so hard.
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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Fri Dec 07, 2012 1:50 pm
  • "When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris/DangeRUSS" is my all-time favorite of all of these.
    From the white sands
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    To the redwood stands
    To the barren lands

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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Sat Dec 08, 2012 8:32 am
  • On a different angle, Yao Ming and the Shaq both have had shots blocked by former UW's 5'9" Nate Robinson. Short people can definitely jam it down your throat. No joke haha.
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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Sat Dec 08, 2012 8:49 am
  • Russell Wilson can return a part at Autozone without a receipt.
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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Sat Dec 08, 2012 10:20 am
  • Sgt. Largent wrote:My wife confessed to me last night that she thinks about Russell Wilson while we make love................I told her it's OK, I do too.


    Can't tell if serious... :thirishdrinkers:
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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Sat Dec 08, 2012 2:10 pm
  • Aros wrote:Step aside Chuck Norris...


    Russell Wilson's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

    Russell Wilson counted to infinity... Twice.

    If you can see Russell Wilson, he can see you. If you can't see Russell Wilson you may be only seconds away from death.

    Russell Wilson sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled quarterbacking ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Russell Wilson roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker the second Wednesday of every month.

    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for Russell Wilson.

    Russell Wilson built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Russell Wilson met all three bullets with his helmet, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

    They once made a "Russell Wilson" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

    A blind man once stepped on Russell Wilson's shoe. Russell replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Russell Wilson!" The mere mention of his name cured this mans blindness.

    Russell Wilson uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

    If you spell Russell Wilson in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

    Russell Wilson once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Russell Wilson re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

    Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Russell Wilson's warm-up exercises.

    Russell Wilson is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will score a game-winning touchdown.

    Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Russell Wilson.



    Thank you Aros for introducing me to the Heisenberg uncertainty principle .Only on .NET
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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Sat Dec 08, 2012 2:34 pm
  • Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Russell Wilson can throw Brett Favre even further.
    "I just try to be the calm in the storm." - Wilsonism 101
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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Sat Dec 08, 2012 3:07 pm
  • Superman wears Russell Wilson underwear.
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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Sat Dec 08, 2012 6:02 pm
  • Russell Wilson had a staring contest with a mirror and won.

    Russell was in a knife fight once, the knife lost.

    Russell Wilson is never late. If it appears Russell may be running late, time slows the **** down until he catches up.

    When the guards at Buckingham Palace see Russell Wilson coming, they wave to him.

    Russell Wilson doesn't sleep, he waits.

    Russell Wilson has never gone hunting, as "hunting" implies a chance of failure. Russell Wilson has, however, gone killing before.
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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Sat Dec 08, 2012 7:52 pm
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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Sat Dec 08, 2012 8:02 pm
  • morgulon1 wrote:
    Aros wrote:Step aside Chuck Norris...


    Russell Wilson's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

    Russell Wilson counted to infinity... Twice.

    If you can see Russell Wilson, he can see you. If you can't see Russell Wilson you may be only seconds away from death.

    Russell Wilson sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled quarterbacking ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Russell Wilson roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker the second Wednesday of every month.

    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for Russell Wilson.

    Russell Wilson built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Russell Wilson met all three bullets with his helmet, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

    They once made a "Russell Wilson" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

    A blind man once stepped on Russell Wilson's shoe. Russell replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Russell Wilson!" The mere mention of his name cured this mans blindness.

    Russell Wilson uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

    If you spell Russell Wilson in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

    Russell Wilson once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Russell Wilson re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

    Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Russell Wilson's warm-up exercises.

    Russell Wilson is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will score a game-winning touchdown.

    Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Russell Wilson.



    Thank you Aros for introducing me to the Heisenberg uncertainty principle .Only on .NET


    Just spent close to 35 on Wikipedia trying to figure out this principle.
    Definitely NO thank you Aros! That's 35 minutes I'll never have back.
    35 minutes of time I could have spent looking at pics of Russell Wilson
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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Sat Dec 08, 2012 8:51 pm
  • Sgt. Largent wrote:My wife confessed to me last night that she thinks about Russell Wilson while we make love................I told her it's OK, I do too.


    Lol. Nicely done :lol:
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Re: You Knew This Was Coming...
Sun Dec 09, 2012 9:17 am
  • JesterHawk wrote:............
    Russell Wilson has never gone hunting, as "hunting" implies a chance of failure. Russell Wilson has, however, gone killing before.

    Then that means he doesn't go "fishing" either, he goes "catching", right?
    From the white sands
    To the canyon lands
    To the redwood stands
    To the barren lands

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