I can't watch football anymore. I love the Seahawks. But....

SharkHawk

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I think seriously I have to be done. I did something I am so horribly ashamed of after the game and I don't know that I can in good conscience watch another game EVER. I feel awful. Just awful.

I snapped at my kids and then threw the remote and it shattered against the wall and scared my kids. They both started crying. It's time for me to walk away. Everybody is really upset here. I think this is corny, but I also think it has to be my farewell. Sorry for putting it in the main forum, but it is most definitely Seahawks related, and I am sure many other fans are having a hard time coming to terms.

Let what I did be a lesson. I'm lucky no pieces hit my children. But I can't put them through that anymore. I love them with all my heart. More than the Seahawks. I've given the Seahawks 36 years of my life to get it done. They've come close. But I can't leave my family without a father due to a heart attack, and I can't ever EVER harm my children by my words or actions. They deserve a better father, and unfortunately the Seahawks don't bring that out of me. Please don't label me a quitter or a whiner or a baby. Understand that my life has been destroyed in the last two years financially, career-wise, emotionally, and physically. This is the proverbial straw I guess. I just can't do this anymore.

Please.... don't let this game get you like it did me. It was too much, so I step away and hope for a better future for the Hawks for all of YOUR sake. You guys deserve it. You put your butts in the seats and scream until your hoarse for this team. You 12's make me proud. I really have made some incredible friendships here, and hope to continue those, but after what I did today, I can NOT be involved in sports-fandom ever again. Now it's time to pick up the pieces so to speak and try to fix what I've done to my kids in scaring them senseless. No kid should ever have to be afraid of a game result because of how their Dad might handle it. My kids are awesome and they deserve better than the piece of crap I was today. Guilt overwhelms me. I am afraid for myself right now. I am sad for my kids. But I respect all of you and how you keep it together and find a balance where I never could.

Rock on 12's.

Jon Mohlman (the man behind the shark mask)
 

falcongoggles

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Superbowl Sunday is the #1 day in America for domestic abuse. People all across America fly off the handle. Made you need to take a step back, but walk away all together is going to be impossible. Thank goodness forgiveness, including forgiving yourself is one of the greatest things we humans are capable. Your kids won't forget what happened, but you can use it as a learning point for them. I guarantee your body of work as a father far outshadows what happened. Keep your chin up buddy.

p.s. just get one of those Nintendo Wii wrist strap and problem solved (just trying to lighten up :)
 

SeatownJay

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Shark, give your kids a hug, tell them you're sorry and that you love them. Take some time away from following them. You're a true fan, though, so don't be surprised if you find yourself checking this place out once in a while come draft time. :)
 

AROS

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Shark don't beat yourself up too much...It's a normal reaction for most fans who are so emotionally invested in a team like we are. Yeah, it's not Father of the Year material, but it never is when your team is playing in such a huge national game with so much on the line.

No excuse, but I've been there, most of us have been there. Just hug your kids and tell them that Daddy can be a bit crazy when it comes to his football team. My daughter already knows to leave the room when I'm watching the Seahawks, or the wife takes her away from the house altogether. Not something I'm proud of but it is what it is.
 

bellingerga

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get some anger management counseling, and I dont mean this as a shot. It will help you find ways to deal with getting that pissed off, and of course remember it's just a game.

Would hate to lose a fellow seahawk fan, but if you do not comeback, good luck in life and take care.

Just take a nice long break from it though, thats for sure.
 

garydrake425

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I understand but I'm not going anywhere. We are so close that u might not be gone for long. I see a lot of winning in this team.
 
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SharkHawk

SharkHawk

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No, walking away isn't impossible. I've walked away from several "addictions" to keep my family intact. It's hanging by a thread as it is. This is the last one I had to kick. I used to play softball for about 5 teams. Let it ruin a lot of important stuff. I walked away from my one true calling in life... an elementary school teaching job that I'd had for 10 years, because it was threatening my family. Baseball and basketball consumed me. Now I don't watch either. Football was the last on my list. The one I thought I could hold onto and still have balance in my life. Unfortunately, my actions today and my REACTIONS (such as my BP hitting 185/120) show that I can't take it in "moderation". I am a football addict like some are crack addicts. It hurts my family. I have to quit. Just like I did with my ridiculous softball habit and every other stupid thing I've done. Football has to go. My kids are small and need me here longer than that and they should NEVER have to see such a thing from me. Not ever. I've humiliated my family enough through my actions. I owe them this.
 

seabowl

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As the song goes Shark..... See youuuuu, in Septemberrrrr.
 

hawkfannj

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I feel what you are saying I too get to emotionally invested in this as well the screaming the anger and disappointment I have made great strides in the past 3 years and I'm now watching the games alone for the same reasons you shared . It's been since 1983 for me that's a long time with the same empty feeling year after year but you have to set yourself up for success when watching these games maybe you should separate yourself from hawks and family it works for me .
Keep your chin up
Your not alone.
 

Rainger

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SharkHawk":z4mbjplr said:
No, walking away isn't impossible. I've walked away from several "addictions" to keep my family intact. It's hanging by a thread as it is. This is the last one I had to kick. I used to play softball for about 5 teams. Let it ruin a lot of important stuff. I walked away from my one true calling in life... an elementary school teaching job that I'd had for 10 years, because it was threatening my family. Baseball and basketball consumed me. Now I don't watch either. Football was the last on my list. The one I thought I could hold onto and still have balance in my life. Unfortunately, my actions today and my REACTIONS (such as my BP hitting 185/120) show that I can't take it in "moderation". I am a football addict like some are crack addicts. It hurts my family. I have to quit. Just like I did with my ridiculous softball habit and every other stupid thing I've done. Football has to go. My kids are small and need me here longer than that and they should NEVER have to see such a thing from me. Not ever. I've humiliated my family enough through my actions. I owe them this.
Shark you got my PM's, deep breath, look after your family and learn to not give up but change how you approach it. Your .net family is with you
 
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SharkHawk

SharkHawk

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At this rate I'll be dead in about 30 minutes. Stupid blood pressure won't go down. Well, it was a fun ride. 35+ years invested and all I get is a wife who hates me and kids who are scared of me and a bunch of stupid navy and royal blue clothing. Not worth it.
 

GeekHawk

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Hell, I did a similar thing when we lost to the Ray-duhs I think it was in the mid 80s. Except it was a beer bottle in my garage, and I was cleaning up glass for a VERY long time! Pretending to your kids that you never have strong emotions, and that they can never get the best of you, is false. Just keep this in mind next time, you'll be fine and the kids will be laughing about this memory when they grow up. Just like mine do.
 

Hawkstorian

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I just always take time to remind myself that it's for fun.

When I feel the anger coming on, I turn it off the TV. I take time, and then maybe turn it back on.

My one real 'tantrum' during the year was Miami. I yelled, shocked my kid, but then I calmed down apologized and it was fine.

You can still be a fan, but you can't give the game the power to control your emotions. You have the power, it's called the remote. Use it, don't throw it.

Of course, if that' doesn't work then walk away. Remember, we're getting emotionally invested in watching OTHER people play a GAME over which we have NO CONTROL.
 

SuperFreak

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Good luck Shark I respect whatever you do, but one thing I've done is to keep things I can throw away from me and just have pillows around in case I want to punch something. Sorry your BP is up though you may need to work on your health to be able to cope with stress better be careful even if you stop being a " fan " your life is way more important than any game.
 

-The Glove-

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Cmon man, at the end of the day, its still just a game. You should be proud of this young team's resilience, not pissed and flying off the handle. It isn't the Seahawks' fault-this is all on you. Hope you can get yourself in order so you can come back and represent the 12th man once again.
 

RiggoReincarnated

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Dude, after the Redskins lost last week it took me the whole week to break out of the funk from losing that game. I have felt low on energy and lethargic since. Its deflating and I think some kind of grieving process is only natural for a fan.

I don't know your situation - but if alcohol is consumed while watching the games it makes things much worse for me personally. I couldn't even go into work last Monday as I was hungover and down. The rest of the work I made it in - but its taken until today where I can finally honestly say "enough is enough".

Myself personally, am considering going back to doing yoga to achieve more of that feeling of "balance" during stressful times. While I didn't throw a remote last week, I think being at a sports bar probably saved me from doing something of that nature.
 

NJSeahawk

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wow Shark...take your time, and godspeed to you. Make the best decision for you and your family, and good luck.
 
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