Tokadub
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I'm in the process of re-watching our week 2 preseason game against the SD Chargers. What's the catch? It's from the perspective of the Charger's horribly unprofessional and embarrassingly bad announcers.
So I'll start with the good which is mainly what I gained from seeing us destroy them the first time around with the original Seahawks crew calling the game.
We destroyed them, made them look silly. Our O-line in general looked *gasp* REALLY GOOD!
Probably the best starting drive I've seen for a LONG TIME. We looked sharp and ready right out the gate no first punts or multiple field goals instead of touchdowns.
Turbin had the best game I've ever seen from him, he was actually featured on the ESPN.com NFL scores page as a "Quality Performer" and he still is there as I write this.
So I'm gonna have to temporarily take it easy on both our O-Line and Turbin, they both looked much better than I was expecting vs the Chargers.
THE BOTTOM LINE: We looked REALLY GOOD! We had our energy once again, and we were very dominant in all phases of the game. That is the team I was hoping to see when I made my official 14-2 prediction for our Hawks this season.
THE POSSIBLE NEGATIVES: I think the Chargers are horrible, especially their defense. It's more obvious how bad they are after watching this game for the 2nd time. They finished last season 9-7 against an INCREDIBLY WEAK SCHEDULE...
They were ranked 29th for their pass defense last season. I think they gonna get stomped this year against the NFC West and would be VERY LUCKY to even go 8-8. I don't think they make the playoffs, no chance in hell. I think they gonna get romped this season probably go 7-9 too be honest maybe worst.
So it's hard to say how good we really played since their defense is so atrocious. That being said we looked GREAT and I couldn't be happier with our team's performance.
Here are the notes I took from the 1st half of the game as I re-watched it this evening/morning. A lot of it is just making fun of how bad the SD Chargers broadcast was. I'll have to do the 2nd half later.
1st HALF:
#77 Carpenter lets guy blow right by him in 2nd play of game like wtf blow by…
San Diego chargers announcers are very awkward and almost sound like South Park characters. Their flashy Chargers + lightning graphic on every replay is corny since they suck
Manti Teo is slow as hell and got stiff armed by Turbin
CMikes cuts are ridiculous he gets so low breaks their ankles. Almost seems like he cuts so sharp and gets so low that he’s likely to get helmet to the ball instead of helmet to the legs or stomach like most RB’s
Turbin made a really nice block on Baldwin’s touchdown penalty. Baldwin appeared to BS this penalty, got his left arm all up on the defender to initiate the defender’s penalty…
So far all penalties have been bologna poo… 3 or 4 of them…
They called us a “Mass of humanity” when we scored from 1 yard line with Turbin rushing behind Coleman… Wtf does that even mean…
Flags are now called “hankies”
After the touchdown commercial break they show a close up of a real Seahawk (aka Pandion Haliaetus) and they say “that is a real Seahawk… talk about Intensity…” other guy goes, “A little bit too close for my liking”… these guys are total dorks.
“Phillip River’s record is 6-1 when he wears that glove on left hand”… “Only loss in that playoff game last year in Denver”… LMAO what a joke stat
On Danny Woodhead’s first down “Wow… Danny Woodhead is one of those guys… so small of stature he ran to that pylon… on that play you just say, ‘where did he go… OK where did he go? just a pile of bodies he Eeeked it… EEEEK’”
Our Defensive Line this game included Michael Bennett (they didn’t know he wasn’t playing) and Cliff Avril. Both Bennett and Avril are “new players for the Seahawks this season”
Philip Rivers sounds like a total idiot… he looks like he is giving an interview to a 4 year old child… he says, “He looks like Malcom… and he always tells us he just got lucky… and we’re like Malcom you can’t get lucky” while clapping hands together with crazy gestures and squinting like a big buffoon.
Philip Rivers is a whiney little booty buns about Maxwell wrapping up his receiver within the legal 5 yards.
Chargers Keys to the game presented by Audi:
- Chargers QB’s Stay hot
- Defense Get After Wilson
On Turbin’s huge run Harvin drew a defender while in motion to the left side, the defender on the right edge bit hardcore on Wilson, Turbin was wide open he did not require any skill to bust that run their Defense was terrible. Pretty sexy lil’ baby stiff arm but it would have been more impressive if it wasn’t so wide open. Chargers D = smelly buttholes.
Seattle can do anything they want offensively, “They can fake a screen over HERE, and then throw another screen OVER THERE!? Yeah Dan it looks like they can do pretty much whatever they want to offensively…”
Turbin’s 47 yard run was a “scamper”
Harvin finds it hilarious with a giant grin when he gets his ass tackled like a sack of poo for minimal gains
Philip Rivers looks literally mentally disabled and like a cry baby making the most stupid faces I’ve ever seen like he’s mocking his team mates… meanwhile announcers say “let’s hope Russell Wilson is done for the day”. “This is a meaningless pre-season game”
Jerod Johnson “absolutely appeared” when he tackled Woodhead “that’s one way to end the 1st quarter”
Moving after you caught the ball for Woodhead and immediately running out of bounds = “makes a couple moves”
Coleman is really good, every time I notice him on the field he’s doing his job very effectively. On the Zach Miller throw where he almost got a touch down Coleman threw down a money block to let Wilson pass in comfort.
Bailey looks incredibly slow and out of shape, falls over and gets beat pretty easily.
Sarah Thomas is first woman ref I can remember in NFL? She’s married though what a tease! Ring on her left hand ring finger sorry bros. She has been officiating since 1996 that’s 18 years dang not like she got a gimmie for this gig, good for her.
SD Charger announcer does a pretty damn good “Pizza Pizza” impression when looking at Sarah’s resume which includes “2009 Little Caesars Pizza Bowl”.
Haushka likes to line up the 33 yarder from an angle on right side
Chargers coach words of wisdom for their QB Clemons “Run the offense the way it’s meant to be run”… yes that’s worth the broadcasters telling us about.
FACT: Chargers and Seahawks have met 69 times in pre-season and regular season but never in playoffs… Jury still out on Chargers chances to make playoffs according to their own announcers haha.
Phil Bates = Baldwin for them… 88 != 89 sorry dumb announcer noobs… Seriously how could they ever mistake Bates for Baldwin? Bates is like twice as big and looks nothing like him wtf… did they even watch any Seahawks post season games last year? Shaking my head… amateurs
Baldwin is a nerd, he’s from Standford and he’s a National Honor Society Winner, a Math Honor Society Winner, and a Spanish Honor Society Winner.
Hauschka also likes kicking extra point from left hash mark, middle is for noobs.
Schofield is good, jumps all over the play so fast it looks like he would be off sides compared to the offensive line reaction. Nothing was called though and he nails Clemons in the back. Schofield has always impressed me, looked great early last season too.
I want to slap Philip Rivers he looks like the Jim Harbaugh of QB’s, always complaining like a total a-hole whenever the camera shows him.
He did the smart thing “Did not hit Earl Thomas in the back” well Earl Thomas was not even in the game with less than 1 minute to go in 1st half…
Century Link is known affectionately as the “Clink” as in like “clink” “clack” little tea cup noises tapping on the glass. That’s news to me.
“Did you ever see them practice an onside kick other than practice? You never see it in a game. I would love to see uh Hauschka… I mean rather Nick Novack do an onside kick, what the heck you got to lose?”
San Diego can get the ball back with 39 seconds left in great field position because they have 2 timeouts…
So I'll start with the good which is mainly what I gained from seeing us destroy them the first time around with the original Seahawks crew calling the game.
We destroyed them, made them look silly. Our O-line in general looked *gasp* REALLY GOOD!
Probably the best starting drive I've seen for a LONG TIME. We looked sharp and ready right out the gate no first punts or multiple field goals instead of touchdowns.
Turbin had the best game I've ever seen from him, he was actually featured on the ESPN.com NFL scores page as a "Quality Performer" and he still is there as I write this.
So I'm gonna have to temporarily take it easy on both our O-Line and Turbin, they both looked much better than I was expecting vs the Chargers.
THE BOTTOM LINE: We looked REALLY GOOD! We had our energy once again, and we were very dominant in all phases of the game. That is the team I was hoping to see when I made my official 14-2 prediction for our Hawks this season.
THE POSSIBLE NEGATIVES: I think the Chargers are horrible, especially their defense. It's more obvious how bad they are after watching this game for the 2nd time. They finished last season 9-7 against an INCREDIBLY WEAK SCHEDULE...
They were ranked 29th for their pass defense last season. I think they gonna get stomped this year against the NFC West and would be VERY LUCKY to even go 8-8. I don't think they make the playoffs, no chance in hell. I think they gonna get romped this season probably go 7-9 too be honest maybe worst.
So it's hard to say how good we really played since their defense is so atrocious. That being said we looked GREAT and I couldn't be happier with our team's performance.
Here are the notes I took from the 1st half of the game as I re-watched it this evening/morning. A lot of it is just making fun of how bad the SD Chargers broadcast was. I'll have to do the 2nd half later.
1st HALF:
#77 Carpenter lets guy blow right by him in 2nd play of game like wtf blow by…
San Diego chargers announcers are very awkward and almost sound like South Park characters. Their flashy Chargers + lightning graphic on every replay is corny since they suck
Manti Teo is slow as hell and got stiff armed by Turbin
CMikes cuts are ridiculous he gets so low breaks their ankles. Almost seems like he cuts so sharp and gets so low that he’s likely to get helmet to the ball instead of helmet to the legs or stomach like most RB’s
Turbin made a really nice block on Baldwin’s touchdown penalty. Baldwin appeared to BS this penalty, got his left arm all up on the defender to initiate the defender’s penalty…
So far all penalties have been bologna poo… 3 or 4 of them…
They called us a “Mass of humanity” when we scored from 1 yard line with Turbin rushing behind Coleman… Wtf does that even mean…
Flags are now called “hankies”
After the touchdown commercial break they show a close up of a real Seahawk (aka Pandion Haliaetus) and they say “that is a real Seahawk… talk about Intensity…” other guy goes, “A little bit too close for my liking”… these guys are total dorks.
“Phillip River’s record is 6-1 when he wears that glove on left hand”… “Only loss in that playoff game last year in Denver”… LMAO what a joke stat
On Danny Woodhead’s first down “Wow… Danny Woodhead is one of those guys… so small of stature he ran to that pylon… on that play you just say, ‘where did he go… OK where did he go? just a pile of bodies he Eeeked it… EEEEK’”
Our Defensive Line this game included Michael Bennett (they didn’t know he wasn’t playing) and Cliff Avril. Both Bennett and Avril are “new players for the Seahawks this season”
Philip Rivers sounds like a total idiot… he looks like he is giving an interview to a 4 year old child… he says, “He looks like Malcom… and he always tells us he just got lucky… and we’re like Malcom you can’t get lucky” while clapping hands together with crazy gestures and squinting like a big buffoon.
Philip Rivers is a whiney little booty buns about Maxwell wrapping up his receiver within the legal 5 yards.
Chargers Keys to the game presented by Audi:
- Chargers QB’s Stay hot
- Defense Get After Wilson
On Turbin’s huge run Harvin drew a defender while in motion to the left side, the defender on the right edge bit hardcore on Wilson, Turbin was wide open he did not require any skill to bust that run their Defense was terrible. Pretty sexy lil’ baby stiff arm but it would have been more impressive if it wasn’t so wide open. Chargers D = smelly buttholes.
Seattle can do anything they want offensively, “They can fake a screen over HERE, and then throw another screen OVER THERE!? Yeah Dan it looks like they can do pretty much whatever they want to offensively…”
Turbin’s 47 yard run was a “scamper”
Harvin finds it hilarious with a giant grin when he gets his ass tackled like a sack of poo for minimal gains
Philip Rivers looks literally mentally disabled and like a cry baby making the most stupid faces I’ve ever seen like he’s mocking his team mates… meanwhile announcers say “let’s hope Russell Wilson is done for the day”. “This is a meaningless pre-season game”
Jerod Johnson “absolutely appeared” when he tackled Woodhead “that’s one way to end the 1st quarter”
Moving after you caught the ball for Woodhead and immediately running out of bounds = “makes a couple moves”
Coleman is really good, every time I notice him on the field he’s doing his job very effectively. On the Zach Miller throw where he almost got a touch down Coleman threw down a money block to let Wilson pass in comfort.
Bailey looks incredibly slow and out of shape, falls over and gets beat pretty easily.
Sarah Thomas is first woman ref I can remember in NFL? She’s married though what a tease! Ring on her left hand ring finger sorry bros. She has been officiating since 1996 that’s 18 years dang not like she got a gimmie for this gig, good for her.
SD Charger announcer does a pretty damn good “Pizza Pizza” impression when looking at Sarah’s resume which includes “2009 Little Caesars Pizza Bowl”.
Haushka likes to line up the 33 yarder from an angle on right side
Chargers coach words of wisdom for their QB Clemons “Run the offense the way it’s meant to be run”… yes that’s worth the broadcasters telling us about.
FACT: Chargers and Seahawks have met 69 times in pre-season and regular season but never in playoffs… Jury still out on Chargers chances to make playoffs according to their own announcers haha.
Phil Bates = Baldwin for them… 88 != 89 sorry dumb announcer noobs… Seriously how could they ever mistake Bates for Baldwin? Bates is like twice as big and looks nothing like him wtf… did they even watch any Seahawks post season games last year? Shaking my head… amateurs
Baldwin is a nerd, he’s from Standford and he’s a National Honor Society Winner, a Math Honor Society Winner, and a Spanish Honor Society Winner.
Hauschka also likes kicking extra point from left hash mark, middle is for noobs.
Schofield is good, jumps all over the play so fast it looks like he would be off sides compared to the offensive line reaction. Nothing was called though and he nails Clemons in the back. Schofield has always impressed me, looked great early last season too.
I want to slap Philip Rivers he looks like the Jim Harbaugh of QB’s, always complaining like a total a-hole whenever the camera shows him.
He did the smart thing “Did not hit Earl Thomas in the back” well Earl Thomas was not even in the game with less than 1 minute to go in 1st half…
Century Link is known affectionately as the “Clink” as in like “clink” “clack” little tea cup noises tapping on the glass. That’s news to me.
“Did you ever see them practice an onside kick other than practice? You never see it in a game. I would love to see uh Hauschka… I mean rather Nick Novack do an onside kick, what the heck you got to lose?”
San Diego can get the ball back with 39 seconds left in great field position because they have 2 timeouts…
