I'll also say that the way sports function in high school socially (the highest level I played at) aren't really good places to be if you're bi or gay, at least 15-20 years ago when I was there.
Not only are you grappling with your own sexuality and the hormonal steroids of that age period, you're in an environment with 20+ dudes who aren't like you and are so wrapped up in their own selves that any admission of non hetero-normative feelings is like "holy shit, mrt144 is looking at me with the same debauched intent that I harbor for girls in my class and vocally describe in great detail to the fawning of my fellow teammates". Nothing is more preposterous than how mediocre straight men flatter themselves when trying out the whole 'empathy' thing. I assure you, among my baseball teammates not a looker in the bunch.
One of the reasons I dropped out of high school was that the single draw of sports stopped being what I wanted it to be (a place where I could get away from academic, social and behavior difficulties) and basically became yet another hen house I didn't feel part of - I always stood out because I didn't get down to macho chest thumping bravado about girls (and chided teammates at times for it, cause goddamnit, we got a ballgame to win) and many teammates just thought I was gay outright because I was always super standoffish about sexual stuff but how could I ever be part of it? Even now when it comes up in passing, some people are fascinated by bi sexuality like we're alien fence sitters who need convincing arguments from earthlings to go one direction and never look back...
Also, given the religious underpinnings of Hernandez, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if there was an additional layer of turmoil there which ramped up his perceived social loss if it came to light. For a guy like me who is married and a bit asocial it wouldn't shake the pillars of earth if that came out now (and as I said previously, it's not something I advertise or invoke unsolicited) but I can imagine threatening someone with a baseball bat in my mid teen years, not only because it would out me to all the guys who are part of something I enjoyed in team sports but salt my game with every girl at my school because by and large, teen girls react adversely to that info as well, at least in the late 90s.
The good news is that a change of scenery to Seattle in my early 20s and being in an art-school environment with other guys and gals who went through similar things and not feeling completely alone made having a social life a pleasure, not a burden. I think it's obvious that Hernandez wouldn't take that opportunity even if presented, there's just way too much baggage and investment in an outward appearance that didnt allow for him exist as a bi gangster or dogmatic Christian or top flight athlete.
ukeface:
