It's that time of the year again! WYTS 2017!

You know how in The Revenant, Leonardo DiCaprio gets his throat slashed by that bear, so then he has to stuff gun powder in his throat and light it to, like, heal it? That must be what being a Browns fan is like all the time.

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Now that the Cubs have won a World Series title, every other Chicago team has won a championship since the Bears last won one. They are officially the ass-end of the Chicago sports scene, and there’s nothing to suggest that will change anytime soon.

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Gus Bradley was 14-48 when the Jags finally, mercifully let him go. (In Jacksonville, they don’t fire you so much as grudgingly admit that they never should have hired you to begin with). That .226 winning percentage makes Bradley the second worst coach in NFL history. That’s the Jaguars for you: never quite bold enough to be the absolute worst.

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here is the drive chart from L.A.’s first two games of last season:
PUNT
PUNT
PUNT
INT
PUNT
PUNT
PUNT
PUNT
PUNT
PUNT
INT
PUNT
TURNOVER ON DOWNS
KNEE
FIELD GOAL
PUNT
PUNT
PUNT
FIELD GOAL
PUNT
FIELD GOAL
PUNT
PUNT
END OF GAME

God, that is so hot.

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I have no idea how this team DOWNGRADED from Geno Smith and Ryan Fitzpatrick, but here we are. Every Jets QB is either a designated seatwarmer/mentor who is two weeks away from earning his pension, or a vegan-raw prospect with sub-CFL passing abilities.

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One of his first moves as Chargers head coach was to forbid Philip Rivers and Antonio Gates from going to LaDainian Tomlinson’s Hall of Fame induction. Such a strong move. No better way for a rookie coach to endear himself to a team than by treating its two most respected veterans and family men like children.

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Hey, who would have guessed a team coached by Ron Rivera and dependent on its QB for 99 percent of its yardage would IMMEDIATELY regress back to the mean after a fluke 15-1 season? I could’ve made more money betting on that than betting on Mayweather.

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Congrats, Bengals! For the first time in six years, you did NOT lose in the Wild Card round of the playoffs. Galactic leap forward.

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Every year we get further away from the 1990s, I am more disbelieving that those Marv Levy Bills teams ever happened. It simply does not compute in my system. That team? In Buffalo? Nah. All a myth. History is tricking you. That team played in an alternate dimension…in Akron. Those weren’t the Buffalo Bills. The Bills I know are a funeral dirge. They are a seafaring expedition party that crashed on an ice floe and have been forced to subsist for decades on seal blood and melted snow.

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7-9. That’s three straight years of 7-9, and four out of the past five years. Jeff Fisher is in AWE of this consistency. If you haven’t realized it by now, both the Saints and the city of New Orleans are clearly content with a team that can pass for 50 gazillion yards a season and do nothing else correctly. That 2009 title? That was it. They’re never winning another title again. They’re taking their fluke ring and going to the bar.

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Sean:

I’m an Eagles fan, and I hate 95 percent of Eagles fans.

Philly citizenry buy the most sweatpants in America.

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HAWKAMANIA":mrksln9q said:

The Philadelphia Eagles

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-philadelphia-eagles-1797746673

Sean:

I’m an Eagles fan, and I hate 95 percent of Eagles fans.

Philly citizenry buy the most sweatpants in America.

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uncle fester":3a1irsut said:

As if by magic, the Seahawks edition appears...

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks ... 1798657931

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uncle fester":25vjdn60 said:

Bracing for the sense of humour bypasses.

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Popeyejones":3kfx5yx0 said:

uncle fester":3kfx5yx0 said:

Bracing for the sense of humour bypasses.

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:lol:

The fan portion was hilarious too. Good job Hawks fans on those. :2thumbs:

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