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Doctors Warn Marshawn About Going Into Beast Mode (HUMOR)

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  • Doctors Warn Marshawn Lynch That Next Time He Goes Into Beast Mode Could Kill Him

    OAKLAND, CA—Calmly reiterating to the incredulous Oakland Raiders running back that they were looking out for his best interests, doctors warned Marshawn Lynch Wednesday that the next time he goes into Beast Mode could kill him. “Marshawn, I know you’ve gone through most of your Beast Modes without incident, but now that you’re on the wrong side of 30, your body is screaming for you to stop,” said Raiders team doctor Warren King before attempting to comfort Lynch after the running back broke down into tears while assuring doctors he felt perfectly fine going into Beast Mode. “I know it may seem drastic, but every time you go into Beast Mode, you bring yourself one step closer to paralysis or even death. Marshawn, is Beast Mode really worth that much to you?” At press time, Lynch’s family and friends reportedly began organizing efforts to show the depressed running back that he can live a full life after Beast Mode.

    https://sports.theonion.com/doctors-war ... 1820252812

    Terrible :( :( :( He just played his best game too.
    Last edited by kidhawk on Thu Nov 09, 2017 10:24 am, edited 1 time in total.
    Reason: Edited Title to Clarify it's Humor
    SixSeahawk
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  • SixSeahawk wrote:Doctors Warn Marshawn Lynch That Next Time He Goes Into Beast Mode Could Kill Him

    OAKLAND, CA—Calmly reiterating to the incredulous Oakland Raiders running back that they were looking out for his best interests, doctors warned Marshawn Lynch Wednesday that the next time he goes into Beast Mode could kill him. “Marshawn, I know you’ve gone through most of your Beast Modes without incident, but now that you’re on the wrong side of 30, your body is screaming for you to stop,” said Raiders team doctor Warren King before attempting to comfort Lynch after the running back broke down into tears while assuring doctors he felt perfectly fine going into Beast Mode. “I know it may seem drastic, but every time you go into Beast Mode, you bring yourself one step closer to paralysis or even death. Marshawn, is Beast Mode really worth that much to you?” At press time, Lynch’s family and friends reportedly began organizing efforts to show the depressed running back that he can live a full life after Beast Mode.

    https://sports.theonion.com/doctors-war ... 1820252812

    Terrible :( :( :( He just played his best game too.

    Just to make sure of something here --- you do realize that this is an Onion article right? A satire news source. Maybe you're just too dead pan for my internetz skills.
    Spin Doctor
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  • :lol: Onion News strikes again!
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    DJrmb
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  • I knew it was fake. I just thought it'd be a fun read.
    SixSeahawk
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