I can't watch football anymore. I love the Seahawks. But....

ThrowItToJulio

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Also, I too went through a softball addiction. I just couldn't get enough. I sold my kid's Playstation so I could I could shave the barrel of my bat down, to get that extra little bit I needed to hit some home runs. I would act like I was going to work, only to go to the ballfield all day, practicing defense by myself. I would field imaginary balls, running over different scenarios in my head. I would throw imaginary runners out and scream at the foolish imaginary umpires. I would come home with my legs scratched up (I play softball in jean shorts) with nothing to show for myself. Sure, we won the regional championship, but we never made it out of the state. Eventually, I blew through our savings and had to sell my bat. It was total bullshit, but family is all about sacrifice. It gets better.
 

hawksfansinceday1

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HawkWow":1kg60urr said:
bellingerga":1kg60urr said:
get some anger management counseling, and I dont mean this as a shot. It will help you find ways to deal with getting that pissed off, and of course remember it's just a game.

Would hate to lose a fellow seahawk fan, but if you do not comeback, good luck in life and take care.

Just take a nice long break from it though, thats for sure.

This^....and Bellingerga is giving you the best gift you could hope for...if you consider his advice. I live in an area and work in a field that is prone to fights (very much so). I was on my 4th assault charge and facing jail when my attorney advised me to enroll in an alternative to violence class. I actually enjoy fighting so signed up only so the judge might give me a break. Little did I know that once I accepted the fact I wasn't living right, the class likely saved my life.

I was in a situation with a former adversary recently where he called me out. I'd beat this guy in the ring and on the street before and knew I would emerge victorious....but then a little light went off in my head and I walked away. I was concerned how I would feel the next morning. I woke up, considered the nite before...and felt awesome. Later I learned the guy had a razor and planned on using it.

Buddah teaches that once you engage, you've already lost the fight. Go see someone dude. Not just for your kids but for yourself as well. You'll become whole, you'll love yourself again and I wish you luck.
Agree with both these guys 100%. I just about lost my job a couple of months ago for several blow-ups at fellow employees. In fact, I was terminated and only got back thanks to a win in the grievance process. I'm not far from full pension and while my industry is so skill specific I likely would've found another job fairly quickly and made it to pension anyway, I would've also blown 4 weeks vacation (5 in another three years) and great days off (Friday, Saturday and Sunday). More importantly I was embarassed by my behavior and am greatful for the chance to be seen differently over the next few years I have left to work where I work. Part of the stipulation of me returning has been anger management counseling and I have found it VERY helpful already both in terms of the counselor's suggestions as well as making me stop and think before reacting when shit goes wrong on the job and other people are idiots and so on and so forth. As you can see, I may have always been able to seperate disappointment regarding the Seahawks from my 'real' life but have not been so good at keeping my cool in other areas of my life.

You may qualify for state assistance for counseling too Jon considering what you said about your finances. Think about it man.

EDIT: After reading your last post, you're in my prayers for that teaching job. Hope others join me.....
 

HawkinNY

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SharkHawk":22cnjjkz said:
I think seriously I have to be done. I did something I am so horribly ashamed of after the game and I don't know that I can in good conscience watch another game EVER. I feel awful. Just awful.

I snapped at my kids and then threw the remote and it shattered against the wall and scared my kids. They both started crying. It's time for me to walk away. Everybody is really upset here. I think this is corny, but I also think it has to be my farewell. Sorry for putting it in the main forum, but it is most definitely Seahawks related, and I am sure many other fans are having a hard time coming to terms.

Let what I did be a lesson. I'm lucky no pieces hit my children. But I can't put them through that anymore. I love them with all my heart. More than the Seahawks. I've given the Seahawks 36 years of my life to get it done. They've come close. But I can't leave my family without a father due to a heart attack, and I can't ever EVER harm my children by my words or actions. They deserve a better father, and unfortunately the Seahawks don't bring that out of me. Please don't label me a quitter or a whiner or a baby. Understand that my life has been destroyed in the last two years financially, career-wise, emotionally, and physically. This is the proverbial straw I guess. I just can't do this anymore.

Please.... don't let this game get you like it did me. It was too much, so I step away and hope for a better future for the Hawks for all of YOUR sake. You guys deserve it. You put your butts in the seats and scream until your hoarse for this team. You 12's make me proud. I really have made some incredible friendships here, and hope to continue those, but after what I did today, I can NOT be involved in sports-fandom ever again. Now it's time to pick up the pieces so to speak and try to fix what I've done to my kids in scaring them senseless. No kid should ever have to be afraid of a game result because of how their Dad might handle it. My kids are awesome and they deserve better than the piece of crap I was today. Guilt overwhelms me. I am afraid for myself right now. I am sad for my kids. But I respect all of you and how you keep it together and find a balance where I never could.

Rock on 12's.

Jon Mohlman (the man behind the shark mask)

Read the book the secret.
 

JSeahawks

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After the Superbowl i reminded myself that this is just a game, its supposed to be entertainment, and i can honestly say i've never been pissed about a lost since. Dissapointed, yes. But never upset.

I think its all important for us to remember that whethe the Seahawks win or lose it still doesnt change our life tomorrow.
 

razgriz737

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JSeahawks":2h2wpjvd said:
After the Superbowl i reminded myself that this is just a game, its supposed to be entertainment, and i can honestly say i've never been pissed about a lost since. Dissapointed, yes. But never upset.

I think its all important for us to remember that whethe the Seahawks win or lose it still doesnt change our life tomorrow.
My thoughts EXACTLY.
 

oldhawkfan

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About 10 years ago a similar event happened to me. I was a very obsessed fan who lived and breathed Seahawks 24/7. My business suffered as I spent most of my waking hours reading and researching anything Seahawks related. It culminated with a home loss to the Rams on a last second TD. In my anger I kicked a gaping hole in the side of an easy chair. It was at that moment that I had a psychological shift in my mind. I figured if this obsession over something that I had no control over the outcomes of a game was going to cause me to destroy my own belongings I needed to rethink my life. To make a long story short, I still have a mild obsession with the Seahawks but I no longer let them effect me like I once did. I still thoroughly enjoy the wins and bum out at the losses, but now, for the most part I just enjoy the ride. As much as I one day want to experience a Super bowl victory, I will watch and enjoy the journey no matter where it takes me.

Keep the faith, love your children, and try to look at the Seahawks as the best form of pure entertainment! Like a good movie, you never know how it ends.
 

-The Glove-

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Maelstrom787":221s3emi said:
I'm going to make a serious post here. I'm also gonna admit something here that might get me in trouble with .net.

I'm 17, so I'm a minor. I've posted in the shack and PWR forums before, so I don't know how severe a violation that is, and I'm sorry mods.

This is me. I'm wearing a dress shirt and tie, because I am quite passionate about politics and felt like dressing up. I have a reputation as a very smart kid and the go-to person with any governmental or political questions. I've single-handedly turned most of my school into a breeding ground for new, young Libertarians. (I know a lot of you disagree with my views, but just ignore my political stances, they're not the point of this.)
63153_443379605697953_507939047_n.jpg


I'm also a swimmer, a lacrosse player, and soon to be football player as a senior in high school next year. I'm trying to get my grades up as I've recently gotten my life together. I want to try to get into University of Delaware, but that looks pretty unlikely. So I'm looking at some smaller, D-III type schools. I want to major in Secondary Education and become a teacher at my current high school after college. I have it all planned out.

I say so much about my life, because today I've experienced such intense ups-and-downs from a game that I wasn't even playing. I ended up breaking my smartphone, the only nice thing I really have, out of sheer anger. My family is in financial ruins, and I'm not going to be able to afford another phone for a good while. I've been chilling and putting things into perspective, and it really is just a game. Although it is my passion, it may be quite unhealthy for me. There's so much more to life..

I did say I was going to try out for football this year. I've been studying intensely and working out. RW has inspired me to try to be a starting QB for my team. It is my dream. My ex-girlfriend introduced me to the coach last year, when I was going through tough times. He's been sort of a life coach for me since. I used to get angry and smash things, and he'd always chill me out in his room and just sit and talk to me for a good hour about life. It helped me out, a bunch.

I know it's not anything formal, but he helped me straighten out a bit, until my asshole relapse today. Maybe that can be likened to some anger management classes of sorts, SharkHawk. I don't want you to go, I look forward to your posts about as much as I do Kearly's. You're a treasure of .net, and a knowledgeable, respectable man. If you feel this is what's best, then from one person to another, I wish you the best in all future endeavors.

I probably need some help myself. I'm going to channel my rage into working out harder from now on. I hope it goes well. Sometimes we all need to remember, it is just a game. A game that we're all passionate about and love, but a game nonetheless that we're not even playing. Count backwards from 10, take 3 deep breaths, and everyone get on with your lives and try to be a better person in anyway you can.

Sorry if my thoughts are all over the place, I'm a bit flustered after all the excitement today. Love you guys, .net. Best of luck to SharkHawk.
Good post, young man. Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Sucks about the "relapse" but I was an angry kid like you growing up. You have to find something that works for you to calm you down...for me it was music and poetry. Whether it was listening, reading or writing.
 
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SharkHawk

SharkHawk

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Maelstrom 787 - Can I help you get a new phone? That would help me feel a bit better. I wish somebody had stepped up for me at your age, because then I might not be pouring my heart and anger out today. I was once angry too... and strangely enough have calmed down a lot. But today was not ok. It's ok for you. You're 17. If I could help you hit the "rewind" and get a phone back in your hands and feel like it's ok and you don't have to lose your one nice possession because you reacted the same way I did, then maybe it would be good for both of us. I have been duct taping the remote for the last hour, and it might still work. I got it to power the tv up, so that's a good sign. Looks like I'm ok, as the logic board didn't shatter, it just went flying (way too close to my son's head).

I held my son and told him I was sorry, that there was no excuse, and that I am his number 1 fan and football isn't important, but he is. He and I both just sobbed and sobbed as I held him. I know he's hurting having seen his dad "go off" because I am a kind, patient, and loving father. I am so down because I have 2 college degrees in this stuff. I have degrees in child development and early childhood education and elementary education. I know better. I've learned better. Yet I still just flat out blew it.

I'd like to help if I can. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you ease your burden of losing your phone today. I don't have much... but I sure will try to help you rectify your mistake.
 

tdigitee

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Shark,

1. I am really sorry that happened in front of your kids. 

2. I am sorry that so many bad things have happened to you recently. 

3. I am sorry you are considering no longer following the Hawks. 

BUT 

You cannot undo what happened today in front of your kids. (no one was injured). We all screw up as parents, and I think the best thing you can do is to hug them, tell them you are so sorry for what happened, and going forward resolve to yourself to never again lose control around them, WHATEVER that takes. (Lots of what others here have already said).  They will forgive you. Now you have the offseason to take a break and figure it out. 

I have IMMENSE deal of respect for your decision, and I say that even though I love your posts! People react to games and stresses in different ways, and you HAVE to take care of yourself, especially for your kids. That is crucial! And you may be feeling pretty low right now on a couple of fronts,  but what you have done takes a ton of courage - you have not only recognized a problem but are actively figuring out how to cure it. Even if that means giving up your beloved team (temporarily or for good).

I may not be adding more value here, but after you talk to your kids and take advantage of that "teachable moment", think about what it will take to not let your anger get the better of you. Anger mgmt? (again, it is brave to admit a problem and seek help). Getting a DVR and watching games after the kids are asleep so you get more time with them while they are awake (this is what I do actually, love it)? Going cold turkey from Seahawks games (you can always just check the final scores; far less stressful)? Faith or zen?

I don't have the answer but I hope some of this is helpful. I am extremely self critical about being a dad so if ever you want to discuss this further or just vent, please PM me. I wish you the best and will keep you all in my prayers. 

cheers /td
 

chris98251

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Well each of us knows our own boundries, they shift from time to time depending on our age, level of stress etc. I respect Shark for stepping up and making a judgement call on himself as well as sharing a part of himself with us that is not flattering. As I stated before I have some experience with having to humble myself in front of my boys when they were young.

But as you find the understanding and possibly the way to control the emotions we feel on those type of days I am hoping you will grace us again with your presence and knowledge.

Take care, don't be a stranger and know that many of us here value your insights and contributions.

Thank you Shark and it's not good bye my freind it's see ya soon!
 

Foghawk

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JSeahawks":5499g55b said:
After the Superbowl i reminded myself that this is just a game, its supposed to be entertainment, and i can honestly say i've never been pissed about a lost since. Dissapointed, yes. But never upset.

I think its all important for us to remember that whethe the Seahawks win or lose it still doesnt change our life tomorrow.

^^^^^^^ This..............XL made me realize (over time) that at the end of the day it's just a game. Just kick back and enjoy the game / ride, for however long it lasts.
 

HawkWow

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Foghawk":6k4ig4oz said:
JSeahawks":6k4ig4oz said:
After the Superbowl i reminded myself that this is just a game, its supposed to be entertainment, and i can honestly say i've never been pissed about a lost since. Dissapointed, yes. But never upset.

I think its all important for us to remember that whethe the Seahawks win or lose it still doesnt change our life tomorrow.

^^^^^^^ This..............XL made me realize (over time) that at the end of the day it's just a game. Just kick back and enjoy the game / ride, for however long it lasts.

...and there's some silver lining right there. At least they won't be able to rip us off in the SB again. Feel good about that!
 

Hawks46

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I totally hear you. I used to be THAT into football. Really, the NFL was damn near my life. When I wasn't watching the NFL, it was NCAA, but it had to be football. Used to love basketball almost that much until the NBA stole the Sonics away from us. Then something changed: I had kids.

I couldn't bear to freak out on the kids like I would've 5 years ago or so. They don't understand, and it's not their fault, I don't like it when my wife takes stuff out on me that I didn't do, so I try not to reciprocate. So, I understand.

I'm not done with football, or the Seahawks, but for the first time in a long time, I'm done watching the rest of the playoffs, and don't really care who wins the Superbowl. I'm a fan of football, so when the Seahawks lose in the Wildcard, or the divisional, or when we usually don't make it, I keep watching the games. This year, we were so close; this felt so real. This really was our one window from the injury perspective; we were incredibly healthy this year, and it stands to reason that luck won't hold.

Good luck Sharkhawk. Try watching from a distance, and maybe gradually work your way back in.
 

Foghawk

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HawkWow":2kz5rgzc said:
Foghawk":2kz5rgzc said:
JSeahawks":2kz5rgzc said:
After the Superbowl i reminded myself that this is just a game, its supposed to be entertainment, and i can honestly say i've never been pissed about a lost since. Dissapointed, yes. But never upset.

I think its all important for us to remember that whethe the Seahawks win or lose it still doesnt change our life tomorrow.

^^^^^^^ This..............XL made me realize (over time) that at the end of the day it's just a game. Just kick back and enjoy the game / ride, for however long it lasts.

...and there's some silver lining right there. At least they won't be able to rip us off in the SB again. Feel good about that!

:0190l: :0190l: :0190l:
 

Maelstrom787

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SharkHawk":18n2zrzd said:
Maelstrom 787 - Can I help you get a new phone? That would help me feel a bit better. I wish somebody had stepped up for me at your age, because then I might not be pouring my heart and anger out today. I was once angry too... and strangely enough have calmed down a lot. But today was not ok. It's ok for you. You're 17. If I could help you hit the "rewind" and get a phone back in your hands and feel like it's ok and you don't have to lose your one nice possession because you reacted the same way I did, then maybe it would be good for both of us. I have been duct taping the remote for the last hour, and it might still work. I got it to power the tv up, so that's a good sign. Looks like I'm ok, as the logic board didn't shatter, it just went flying (way too close to my son's head).

I held my son and told him I was sorry, that there was no excuse, and that I am his number 1 fan and football isn't important, but he is. He and I both just sobbed and sobbed as I held him. I know he's hurting having seen his dad "go off" because I am a kind, patient, and loving father. I am so down because I have 2 college degrees in this stuff. I have degrees in child development and early childhood education and elementary education. I know better. I've learned better. Yet I still just flat out blew it.

I'd like to help if I can. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you ease your burden of losing your phone today. I don't have much... but I sure will try to help you rectify your mistake.

That sounds nice, but I really think I should tough it out. I made the mistake, and I feel like I should rectify it myself, as a young man about to be thrust into the world. I should probably learn to deal with the consequences of my actions now. After all, it's just a phone. Maybe I can turn this into a life lesson on responsibility, independence, and keeping my emotions in check.

It actually might be sort of a blessing in disguise. Now, instead of Facebooking, maybe I'll have to focus on doing this chemistry homework instead of procrastinating and messaging girls, haha. I have plenty of other blessings in life, like a roof over my head, food, clothing, etc. I'm a bit bummed, but now it's just me, my lacrosse stick, my football and my schoolwork as far as my list of things to do goes. I feel like I can emerge a better person from this.

I'm so grateful that you'd try to help me out with this, though. That's amazingly good of you. Thank you so much, sir.
 
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