Janay Rice Statement

[Hawks46]

That's the words of someone who values her financial security more than her physical or mental security.

Or maybe she's just afraid that Ray losing his high-paying career is going to set him off.

Bingo.


I think most of the NFL wives are intoxicated by the league lifestyle, notoriety and awesome perks that come with being married/together to a star.........and in Rice's case, a Super Bowl champion beloved by an entire region.

So I could see her saying this. It's sad really, what she should be saying is "I was wrong to even be with this man, I need to set an example for my daughter that domestic violence is not to be tolerated no matter the circumstance."

This actually exemplifies what's wrong with so much of our population (not the poster, because I know you have good intentions, but the intent).

But who are you, or any of us, to tell her what she SHOULD be saying? Honestly, I'm not naïve enough to think that she's not trying to protect her financial well being, but some people do forgive. They were both fighting, it wasn't like she was running away while he stalked her down ala Jason from Friday the 13th. Maybe, just maybe, she accepted some culpability in it as well.

It's also been noted that if they were trying to move on from this incident, having gone to counseling. Maybe, just maybe, having this video paraded around the media non stop is degrading and embarrassing to her. Maybe it's not cathartic for her at all, but traumatic trying to move on. You mentioned she has a daughter, so it's positive, uplifting, and educational for her daughter to see this over and over and over ?

My whole point is that people are all full of righteous indignation. They'[re pissed. Did they get hit? What exactly did Rice do to them? Sure, we can dislike the guy, but honestly....all this drama over something that didn't happen to any of us? Do you know how many times I've read "he dragged her out of the elevator by her hair" ? That never happened. People are getting whipped up into a frenzy over something that doesn't even really affect their lives.

I know this makes me unpopular. People will probably dislike me for saying this, but I come from the school of "mind your own business, because someday you'll screw up and I'd like to be given the benefit of the doubt that I'm human and I just might be able to do something right again"

 

[sc85sis]

That's the words of someone who values her financial security more than her physical or mental security.

Or maybe she's just afraid that Ray losing his high-paying career is going to set him off.

Those are the words of someone in denial, who loves her abuser and believes he really will change. The odds are he won't.

 

[Sgt. Largent]

. You mentioned she has a daughter, so it's positive, uplifting, and educational for her daughter to see this over and over and over ?"

See what? Her mom getting knocked out cold by her dad and staying?

This is part of the problem, the perpetuation of domestic violence. Now her daughter is growing up in a house where it's acceptable for her father to hit her mother. Ask any domestic abuse victim and they'll tell you they grew up in a house with the same problems, therefore they thought it was perfectly normal behavior.

Opinions like your's are unpopular, because they're wrong. That's what used to happen in the 50's and 60's....."just mind our own business honey, don't get involved in the neighbor's fighting."

btw, If Ray Rice was a security guard, do you think Janay would be dutifully standing by his side? Hell no, she'd be gone. Just like politicians who screw hookers then we see their wives standing faithfully by their side at press conferences. Why? Because they're under the illusion that their lifestyle can remain in tact and everything will go back to the way it was. It's all lies.

 

[Wagon12]

To say RG really botched this whole thing is a major understatement... What a mess...

 

[kearly]

I pretty much line up with DavidSeven on this.

Some people are painting her as a gold-digger, others are saying that she's enabling abuse by failing to take a stand. Those things might be true, but my first instinct in this case is that she and Rice love each other and they both mutually screwed up. So now they both blame themselves for this horrible situation. That the media is making her relive this awful moment over and over as well as the guilt she's obviously feeling... it's only natural she would be pissed at the media.

Some day, Ray and Janay will have to explain to their kid why his dad had to quit the NFL. That's not going to be a fun talk.

This incident occurred in February. Since then, it's likely that Rice and Janay sought counseling and it's entirely possible that their relationship was made stronger by it. As evidenced by them getting married. I'm guessing this incident was mostly behind them by July, when the first video came out and made their life hell. And now this.

I was doing cardio at the gym the other day, for almost an hour. During that hour, I would guess that I saw Janay get punched in the face about 150 times while watching CNN on the TV above me. I'm sure she loves having that moment on constant replay on national TV.

While Rice deserved a harsh penalty, I think people should keep in mind that these penalties hurt more than the player, they hurt the family of the player too.

Maybe it is warped guilt, but Janay will forever feel like her loved one's career ended- in small part- to the fact that she instigated a fight. That's not to say that Rice was justified in any way, or that I'm blaming the victim. But she did have a role in it, she knows it, she's said as much, and she feels guilt over it. And now that guilt is ten times worse because it contributed to the end of her husband's career. I think if it was up to her, Rice would still be playing in the NFL, and not because she's an abuse enabler. We should be open to the possibility that this was a one time mistake that since been fixed. Like Warren Moon's case in 1995.

But the media, particularly social media, made an example of them.

I can see why she feels she's been wronged by the media. I understand her rage, and do not see it as any reason to impugn her character.

 

[penihawk]

Since there are so many here that seem to know every detail of the event and have the ability to read the minds of the parties involved I have some questions not addressed in this thread. Having said that, let me also say I don't condone hitting women.

1) How much was alcohol/drugs a factor of said incident. Not an excuse but many men/women should not drink due to getting mean and aggressive from its effects and judgement goes out the window. Especially when a situation escalates.

2) Are we all 100% sure he is the only abuser we have in this case? You all watched the video several hours leading up to Rice making a bad decision in the elevator right? There is no possible way Janay was physically and verbally abusive prior to Rice punching her?
3) Why is it the responsibility of the NFL to be moral police,judge and jury? They should have policies in place and let the justice system dictate their policy implications. RG was caught with an incomplete policy in place and the legal system went soft on the 2 parties in this case.
Enlighten me on all of this, those that seem to have all the answers or maybe we should just slide the moral soap boxes back in the closet?

 

[Largent80]

Maybe they can save their marriage. That will be up to them.

Obviously he has a career change coming. Somehow (so far) he has avoided jail/prison, which to me is unbeleivable except all the lawyers and counselors/therapists that are in our circle just point to the serious obvious flaws in our judicial system.

My wife has extensive experience in this area. She has said many times that the majority of these guys that do this type of thing have moments where they don't do it, but then they revert. The women involved are in a "comfort zone" as hard as that is to comprehend. This case is no different than the 100's she has counseled/seen.

Each victim has their own excuse/reason as to why they deal with it. Doesn't mean anything other than people are all different but yet the same.

Maybe a lifestyle change will enable them to move on. Sort of like when a company downsizes and your job is sacrificed as a result with the obvious difference being the high profile.

Good luck to them. In my eyes, this guy is a criminal that got away with it ala O.J. The difference is O.J. continued his behavior which now has him in prison although he didn't kill anyone to get there. It is just another example of our judicial system failure.

 

[drdiags]

I understand the NFL is publicly supported and has rules governing its employees conduct but what I don't get is where are the cries for justice when common folk are being abused, stalked, raped and terrorized?. This just seems like a feeding frenzy for folks to claim how pure they are of heart. And how stupid other folks are.

Have a society where DV means termination of one's job, no matter what position in life you have. Stalking means jail time. Identity theft means jail time. Sexual harassment means instant termination and jail time.

You are a Hollywood actor/actress. DV, never act again in your life. Why is it we feel just athletes need to pay? I have seen folks speak ill of dog fighters but steal money from fellow fans. The other guy is a loser but you steal from folks trying to help you out. No one takes a look in the mirror.

Ray Rice is a coward. His woman and he need serious help but the NJ judicial system felt they wouldn't have gain much by prosecuting, if you listen to the prosecutor's reasoning. The NFL had suspended Ray Rice the maximum any NFL player has ever been suspended before for this charge. The NFL changed their policies after the huge negative feedback from the fans and media.

As long as all future DV offenders get similar treatment by society (in and out of sports) then so be it. This is just one big murky, nasty issue. NOW wants Goodell to resign, Congress wants Goodell to testify, national media wants to interview Goodell to peek behind the curtain.

Here is what needs to happen from Pop Warner through the Pros, as well as other sports. Any type of criminal justice issue involving a player and that player will never play sports again. Any on campus sexual allegations reported involving an athlete will be investigated by non-College law enforcement. No compromises. Involved in anyway with acts of violence against men or women, all sport related activities are done. Take your chances with the justice system but termination from sports non-reversible.

Laws will have to be written so that lawsuits trying to get a player re-instated don't stand a chance.

I doubt any of the above happens and in a few news cycles we are off on some other issue showing our disdain.

 

[HawkAroundTheClock]

I'm also on board with DavidSeven, and appreciate many comments, including Dr. Diags', hawknation2014's, sc85sis', and following Kerley's insights, I hope Ray and Janay can look each other in the eyes on a regular basis and know that they are both safe. I hope Ray can refrain from hitting her ever again. Most domestic violence cases don't go that way. Perhaps after they survive the nightmare of this media frenzy, and maybe even because of it, they will have a better chance than most. I'll believe it when I see it.

People in love are capable of doing crazy stuff. People in love with an abuser, even more so. It doesn't make sense. To those confused about her motives, stop trying to apply normal everyday social mores to a psychologically messed up situation. Stop painting the victim, Janay, as a gold-digger or as concerned with the future of her luxurious lifestyle. You think it's common sense, that the puzzle pieces fit, but it's presumptive, stereotyping, baseless, and ignorant of the emotional and psychological shackles of domestic violence. It's also borderline victim-blaming and misogynistic. Just stop.

Maybe it was a one-time thing and Ray learned his lesson. If they're determined to be together, I hope that's true. But none of us know what's in their hearts and minds, and we have no evidence, no hearsay, no reason whatsoever to assume Janay is willing to be beaten – or take the risk of future beatings – in exchange for material comforts.

And to address the "put away your soapboxes" post, which starts with a sarcastic, condescending soap-box statement:

Since there are so many here that seem to know every detail of the event and have the ability to read the minds of the parties involved I have some questions not addressed in this thread. Having said that, let me also say I don't condone hitting women.

1) How much was alcohol/drugs a factor of said incident. Not an excuse but many men/women should not drink due to getting mean and aggressive from its effects and judgement goes out the window. Especially when a situation escalates.

Good question. How many drugs and how much alcohol has not been answered. So if we found out, then what? Do the Rices do a PSA about not drinking and getting angry? "Don't get wasted and punch women, kids!" If they were both intoxicated, does the punching and spitting not count, or what? Is there a level of blotto that erases whatever happens next?

2) Are we all 100% sure he is the only abuser we have in this case? You all watched the video several hours leading up to Rice making a bad decision in the elevator right? There is no possible way Janay was physically and verbally abusive prior to Rice punching her?

We saw him spit in her face twice, and punch her in the face/head twice. As you point out in the next question, it's good to have a policy already in place for domestic violence. So exactly what kind of "abuse" could Janay have perpetrated in the several hours prior to the elevator ride to deserve being spit on and punched? Being a little "mouthy" and "sassy"? Would that do it? How about slapping him? Maybe she slapped him at the bar over and over and he felt emasculated, so he did the only sensible thing and waited to corner her in an elevator to retaliate. Because Ray was thinking of all the others at the bar and he didn't want to ruin their night just because he and his fiancé were having a little tiff, right?

If knowing what SHE did leading up to being knocked unconscious is that important to you, let's hear where you think the line is that she crossed to deserve it. What? She didn't deserve it? It's not okay to hit women? But what if she was checking out another man? Would that warrant an uppercut? What if she was a little too flirty with the bartender? Left hook? If it's important to know what she did, it must be to inform our knowledge of Ray's actions, huh?

What if she just sat there all night and called him really mean names? What if she told him he was losing a step and Bernard Pierce and Justin Forsett were going to steal carries from him if he didn't get in better shape?! THAT would really change everything, huh? A man can't let that kind of verbal abuse go by unpunished, right? Maybe she threatened his life. Maybe he felt the fear in his bones that she could murder him at any moment and he had to do something about it, right? If only we had the hours of video leading up to the knock out, then we could speak intelligently about Ray Rice's reasons for beating the mother of his child.

3) Why is it the responsibility of the NFL to be moral police,judge and jury? They should have policies in place and let the justice system dictate their policy implications. RG was caught with an incomplete policy in place and the legal system went soft on the 2 parties in this case.
Enlighten me on all of this, those that seem to have all the answers or maybe we should just slide the moral soap boxes back in the closet?

Really not sure who you are addressing as "those with all the answers", perhaps you should drop the passive aggressive stance and name names. But to your point, you are correct, the NFL should have had a better policy in place. That's pretty much what everybody has been saying since the NFL announced the 2-game suspension. Remember all that media hullabaloo with the entire sports industry pretty much condemning the light punishment? That was the whole thing that got people who otherwise don't care about football to throw a sideways glance at the shield.

As to the responsibility of the NFL to be moral police, well that's exactly what the owners selected Goodell to do. Before he came along, the Pacman Joneses of the NFL were getting in fights, shootings, drugs, all manner of vices, improprieties, and legal problems with very little recourse from the League. The owners saw this as conduct detrimental to the integrity of their product and Roger wielded his ban hammer. This is still relatively new for the NFL and it seems too often they are making it up as they go along.

I agree with you, they took on the mantle of judge and jury, they put it in the commissioner's job description, and they need to have clearly written punishments for clearly defined crimes. Obviously a conviction in a state court is not the only way to bring negative attention to the NFL. Punching out a mother could do that. Having shoddy policies and bungling a high profile domestic violence case at every turn is a good example of bringing negative attention to the NFL. Sounds like it should be grounds for one of Roger's famously harsh penalties.