Onion - Too funny.

[CalgaryFan05]

NFL Players Suspended For Violating DraftKings Terms Of Use

NEW YORK—As the league sought to crack down on players involved in gambling, the NFL announced this week the suspension of four players for violating the DraftKings terms of use. “The players in question are receiving indefinite suspensions for conduct that goes against the basic integrity of...

www.theonion.com

 

[49fansinceBrodie]

That reminded me of this one:
You will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area