GFang
New member
Manning and the Broncos just went one and done. It seems it's not just Kam who steals opponent's souls. Our whole team and organization damages and demoralizes the rest of the NFL through a combination of physical thrashing, exposing opponent's weaknesses for other teams to see, and psychological warfare. Here is an expansive list of teams we sent into a downward spiral:
1. Redskins
After we beat them in the Wildcard Round, they plummeted to the cellar of the NFC East, finishing 3-13 and 4-12 last season and this season, respectively. RG3 has become a shadow of his 2012 form.
2. Texans
In 2013, Schaub was never the same after Sherman picked him off and ran for 6. He became a laughingstock. Texans fans burned his jersey and put the footage on youtube. Fans went to his residence and harassed him. The Texans had started 2-1, then lost to us, and never won another game that season, finishing 2-14.
3. Saints
Last season we destroyed Brees and the Saints on MNF in a 34-7 laughter. We then beat them again in the Divisional Round. Our defense stifled Darren Sproles to such a degree that he was sent packing to the Eagles. Perennial contenders, the Saints finished a disappointing 7-9 this season and missed the playoffs.
4. Cardinals
Early this season Bruce Arians told his team "don't let another team dress in our locker room during the Super Bowl". They were 9-1, in the middle of a dream season for them, when they came to the Clink. We beat them, then murdered them 2 weeks later 35-6 in what was the "biggest regular season game in Arizona Cardinals history". Once 9-1, they fell to the #5 seed and got ousted by Carolina in the Wildcard Round. And in a couple of weeks, WE WILL be dressing in their locker room and using their facilities.
5. Chiefs
7-3 after they beat us sans Mebane and Wagner. Then they fell off the face of the planet, not even making the playoffs as a Wildcard.
6. Eagles
We exposed Sanchez and Chip Kelly's gimmick offense. Bennett got a dig in, saying Sanchez was "trying to impersonate a good QB". Subsequently they got destroyed by the Cowboys in week 14 and lost their playoff spot.
7. 49ers
It all began in 2012 when Kam obliterated Vernon Davis as he ran a wheel route. At that time, Davis was their star player and a huge weapon for the Niners. Davis had a terrible 2014 season, finishing with only 26 catches for 245 yards and 2 TDs, and hasn't really looked the same since.
In the 2013 NFCCG, Sherman made the choke sign at Kaepernick and called Crabtree "sorry" to the world. Crabtree, who was supposed to be the Niners' #1 receiver, was clearly bothered by the humiliation, and finished this season with a disappointing statline, 68 catches for 698 yards and 4 TDs. Kaepernick was also bothered by Sherman's antics and blasted Sherman in an interview during Super Bowl week. He finished this season with a QB rating of 86.4 and a 60.4% completion percentage, his worst season so far in his career.
After the 2013 NFCCG, friction came to a boiling point between Harbaugh and management. York was frustrated with the inability of Harbaugh to win a Super Bowl and the sight of the hated Seahawks holding the Lombardi. This led to leaks of a Harbaugh trade to Cleveland. In the Thanksgiving game in new Levi's stadium, the 49ers organization had their fans sitting in the endzone seats display a big "Beat the Seahawks" flag. We then dominated them so thoroughly that Jed York sent an idiotic tweet apologizing for that pathetic display (ie begging the Faithful sheep to keep coming to Levi's stadium and fattening his family's wallets). We ate Thanksgiving turkey on their logo, desecrating their new stadium in its inaugural season. At the end of their 8-8 season, Harbaugh was let go, and Jed York was exposed as a gigantic douchebag to the rest of the country.
8. Broncos
In Superbowl 48, the Seahawks humiliated the greatest offense in history. Leading up to the game, Sherman said that Manning throws "ducks". As Sherman subtly forecasted, Manning threw 2 wobbly INTs, including a pick-6. Afterwards, Sherman said that they figured out Manning's playcalls. In the offseason, Elway spent big money to sign Demarcus Ware and TJ Ward so their defense could be more physical like that of the Seahawks. Elway planned to make one last push with Peyton Manning. During OTAs, whenever a Broncos player got tired, his teammates would shout "35", indicating the margin of error we beat them by. Unfortunately, the Broncos were one-and-done this season. Manning had a horrible performance against the Colts. Now Manning looks washed up, John Fox may be fired, and their future looks in doubt.
9. Panthers, Cam Newton?
Am I a bad person for taking pride in the fact that we send opposing teams into a dark, miserable place?
1. Redskins
After we beat them in the Wildcard Round, they plummeted to the cellar of the NFC East, finishing 3-13 and 4-12 last season and this season, respectively. RG3 has become a shadow of his 2012 form.
2. Texans
In 2013, Schaub was never the same after Sherman picked him off and ran for 6. He became a laughingstock. Texans fans burned his jersey and put the footage on youtube. Fans went to his residence and harassed him. The Texans had started 2-1, then lost to us, and never won another game that season, finishing 2-14.
3. Saints
Last season we destroyed Brees and the Saints on MNF in a 34-7 laughter. We then beat them again in the Divisional Round. Our defense stifled Darren Sproles to such a degree that he was sent packing to the Eagles. Perennial contenders, the Saints finished a disappointing 7-9 this season and missed the playoffs.
4. Cardinals
Early this season Bruce Arians told his team "don't let another team dress in our locker room during the Super Bowl". They were 9-1, in the middle of a dream season for them, when they came to the Clink. We beat them, then murdered them 2 weeks later 35-6 in what was the "biggest regular season game in Arizona Cardinals history". Once 9-1, they fell to the #5 seed and got ousted by Carolina in the Wildcard Round. And in a couple of weeks, WE WILL be dressing in their locker room and using their facilities.
5. Chiefs
7-3 after they beat us sans Mebane and Wagner. Then they fell off the face of the planet, not even making the playoffs as a Wildcard.
6. Eagles
We exposed Sanchez and Chip Kelly's gimmick offense. Bennett got a dig in, saying Sanchez was "trying to impersonate a good QB". Subsequently they got destroyed by the Cowboys in week 14 and lost their playoff spot.
7. 49ers
It all began in 2012 when Kam obliterated Vernon Davis as he ran a wheel route. At that time, Davis was their star player and a huge weapon for the Niners. Davis had a terrible 2014 season, finishing with only 26 catches for 245 yards and 2 TDs, and hasn't really looked the same since.
In the 2013 NFCCG, Sherman made the choke sign at Kaepernick and called Crabtree "sorry" to the world. Crabtree, who was supposed to be the Niners' #1 receiver, was clearly bothered by the humiliation, and finished this season with a disappointing statline, 68 catches for 698 yards and 4 TDs. Kaepernick was also bothered by Sherman's antics and blasted Sherman in an interview during Super Bowl week. He finished this season with a QB rating of 86.4 and a 60.4% completion percentage, his worst season so far in his career.
After the 2013 NFCCG, friction came to a boiling point between Harbaugh and management. York was frustrated with the inability of Harbaugh to win a Super Bowl and the sight of the hated Seahawks holding the Lombardi. This led to leaks of a Harbaugh trade to Cleveland. In the Thanksgiving game in new Levi's stadium, the 49ers organization had their fans sitting in the endzone seats display a big "Beat the Seahawks" flag. We then dominated them so thoroughly that Jed York sent an idiotic tweet apologizing for that pathetic display (ie begging the Faithful sheep to keep coming to Levi's stadium and fattening his family's wallets). We ate Thanksgiving turkey on their logo, desecrating their new stadium in its inaugural season. At the end of their 8-8 season, Harbaugh was let go, and Jed York was exposed as a gigantic douchebag to the rest of the country.
8. Broncos
In Superbowl 48, the Seahawks humiliated the greatest offense in history. Leading up to the game, Sherman said that Manning throws "ducks". As Sherman subtly forecasted, Manning threw 2 wobbly INTs, including a pick-6. Afterwards, Sherman said that they figured out Manning's playcalls. In the offseason, Elway spent big money to sign Demarcus Ware and TJ Ward so their defense could be more physical like that of the Seahawks. Elway planned to make one last push with Peyton Manning. During OTAs, whenever a Broncos player got tired, his teammates would shout "35", indicating the margin of error we beat them by. Unfortunately, the Broncos were one-and-done this season. Manning had a horrible performance against the Colts. Now Manning looks washed up, John Fox may be fired, and their future looks in doubt.
9. Panthers, Cam Newton?
Am I a bad person for taking pride in the fact that we send opposing teams into a dark, miserable place?