I know there was a previous thread on just the first quote but I thought this might deserve it's own thread. After pulling all these together, I found a whole Tumblr dedicated to his quotes (of course there is). There are many more out there, but these are some of my favorites. I'm sure there's some other juicy ones out there that I missed.
What he sees in the Panthers:
“It's so much alike, man. It's like you look at a girl who looks like you, and you find out it's your cousin, so you can't go on a date with her even though you'd like to, because she looks like you. But then you see her friend, and her friend's really hot, and you're like, ‘that's not my cousin,' so it's good."
On his weekly routine:
“Doing exactly the same exact thing we always do: not having sex on Wednesdays, watching Homeland, just chilling.”
On how the rest of his week goes:
"It's always good when you're on top. Even when you're at home with the ladies.”
On his sack dance:
“Most important sack dance in history, because I helped the baby boom in Seattle.”
How he would describe it:
"I would describe it as two angels dancing while chocolate is coming from the heavens on a nice Sunday morning,”
On free agency:
“It’s all about which team wants you; every team says they want you but somebody has to open up the wallet and sign that check and it has to clear at Wells Fargo.”
On potentially giving a ‘hometown discount’:
“There is no such thing as a discount. This is not Costco, this is not Walmart- this is real life.”
After Percy Harvin’s Td’s being called back.
I think the refs are selling jerseys online. They’re getting more air time Monday night than the players are.
On what product endorsements he would do:
“A Rolls Royce. I’m never gonna shave, so I won’t be in a shaving commercial. But I’d be happy to be in a Rolls Royce commercial.”
His thoughts after the Jets game:
“Tell the Philadelphia police to put an APB out. Sanchez is trying to impersonate a good quarterback.”
Describing Beast Quake 2
“I felt like he was running for freedom or something. Boy, he was gone. They haven’t had a run like that since the Underground Railroad.”
His experience of the lead up to the Superbowl:
“It’s just like being in the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory right now, All I see is cameras, lights and chocolates. I see some chocolate ladies.”
And just a random one:
“I’m the Michael Phelps of eating chicken, man. I’ve got eight chicken medals, man. In Beijing!”
What he sees in the Panthers:
“It's so much alike, man. It's like you look at a girl who looks like you, and you find out it's your cousin, so you can't go on a date with her even though you'd like to, because she looks like you. But then you see her friend, and her friend's really hot, and you're like, ‘that's not my cousin,' so it's good."
On his weekly routine:
“Doing exactly the same exact thing we always do: not having sex on Wednesdays, watching Homeland, just chilling.”
On how the rest of his week goes:
"It's always good when you're on top. Even when you're at home with the ladies.”
On his sack dance:
“Most important sack dance in history, because I helped the baby boom in Seattle.”
How he would describe it:
"I would describe it as two angels dancing while chocolate is coming from the heavens on a nice Sunday morning,”
On free agency:
“It’s all about which team wants you; every team says they want you but somebody has to open up the wallet and sign that check and it has to clear at Wells Fargo.”
On potentially giving a ‘hometown discount’:
“There is no such thing as a discount. This is not Costco, this is not Walmart- this is real life.”
After Percy Harvin’s Td’s being called back.
I think the refs are selling jerseys online. They’re getting more air time Monday night than the players are.
On what product endorsements he would do:
“A Rolls Royce. I’m never gonna shave, so I won’t be in a shaving commercial. But I’d be happy to be in a Rolls Royce commercial.”
His thoughts after the Jets game:
“Tell the Philadelphia police to put an APB out. Sanchez is trying to impersonate a good quarterback.”
Describing Beast Quake 2
“I felt like he was running for freedom or something. Boy, he was gone. They haven’t had a run like that since the Underground Railroad.”
His experience of the lead up to the Superbowl:
“It’s just like being in the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory right now, All I see is cameras, lights and chocolates. I see some chocolate ladies.”
And just a random one:
“I’m the Michael Phelps of eating chicken, man. I’ve got eight chicken medals, man. In Beijing!”
