Our Turn on Deadspin's Why Your Team Sucks

[bigDhawk]

These roasts are usually pretty funny but for some reason this one wasn't. Didn't laugh once.

 

[Spin Doctor]

You don't see the over the top calculated fake-esque personality of Wilson? Or how it's easy to root against Sherman cause he's such a I'm the greatest loud mouth? Or Pete's smugness (hell someone even made a gif of a monocled Pete strutting down the sideline for God's sake)? Or how our fan's can be obnoxious?

Sure, Wilson does give canned interview responses and he obviously cares a lot about his image, his faith and his branding. That's dorky but not really that funny? He didn't talk about Sherman, the Pete thing is a meme enabled by his tragic gum habit, and every fan base is obnoxious.

If you can't laugh at this sort of thing you probably take everything too seriously, including yourself.

The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis is seriously funny. Jimmy Graham is Going to Get Hurt! is only pretending to be funny by playing the "oh no he didn't!!" card.

I'm sorry to say this, but the Seahawks fan base has become FAR more obnoxious than it ever has been, after our magical 2013 season. I've been a Seahawk fan for a very long time, heck I even had a key on the old seahawks.net site that resided on scout.com. The debates were more civil, different perspectives were welcomed and encouraged.

What I get from Seahawk fans now a days is a more combative, abrasive vibe. If you need proof, look no further than Kearly's random thoughts threads. Do you know why Kearly stopped random thoughts? It is because a few people decided to thrash on him for his observations. Over the years the negative comments grew until finally he just decided to call it quits, and I don't blame him.

This is a pattern that I have seen over, and over from my fellow Seahawk fans since our birth as a powerhouse team. I see Seahawk fans pulling out troll threads on other boards, I see a lot of gloating, arguing, etc. It's a stark contrast to what I saw, even when we had the behind enemy lines thread every week. You would get one idiot from time to time, but now, I see them coming in droves to troll other teams forums.

Now that I have gotten that off of my chest, let us look at the silver linings, at least we don't have prelag around anymore,

 

[Popeyejones]

If you can't laugh at this sort of thing you probably take everything too seriously, including yourself.

Seriously. Even more fun than these every year are the humorless fans of each team who inevitably take them too seriously and try to debate "points."

 

[Uncle Si]

You don't see the over the top calculated fake-esque personality of Wilson? Or how it's easy to root against Sherman cause he's such a I'm the greatest loud mouth? Or Pete's smugness (hell someone even made a gif of a monocled Pete strutting down the sideline for God's sake)? Or how our fan's can be obnoxious?

Sure, Wilson does give canned interview responses and he obviously cares a lot about his image, his faith and his branding. That's dorky but not really that funny? He didn't talk about Sherman, the Pete thing is a meme enabled by his tragic gum habit, and every fan base is obnoxious.

If you can't laugh at this sort of thing you probably take everything too seriously, including yourself.

The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis is seriously funny. Jimmy Graham is Going to Get Hurt! is only pretending to be funny by playing the "oh no he didn't!!" card.

Wildcard Bitches!

 

[HawkMeat]

I've read them all and this was one of the more spiteful, less fun ones (obviously I'm biased). But there was very little football content and more of a I hate this team vibe.

I kind of felt the same way. Also it is the same tropes we've heard on message boards about the fans. The Ricardo lockett part was funny.

 

[Popeyejones]

I've read them all and this was one of the more spiteful, less fun ones (obviously I'm biased). But there was very little football content and more of a I hate this team vibe.

I kind of felt the same way. Also it is the same tropes we've heard on message boards about the fans.

FWIW there wasn't anything in the 9ers one that isn't posted every day about the 9ers on .Net.

If you're a fan of a team everything they're making fun of will (or should) already be familiar to you.

Also, I think if you're reading ANY of these for football content you're basically missing the point.

Complaining that they just take on an "I hate this team vibe" is IMO totally bizarre. If you're not reading these expressly to laugh at "I hate this team"-style writing, there's no point in reading them in the first place (the title of the series is kind of a give away).

 

[Hasselbeck]

I lost it with the Russell Wilson = Darren Rovell in pads thing.

And yeah if you took this article seriously, you basically admit you have zero sense of humor.

 

[original poster]

Absolutely brilliant!

 

[HawkMeat]

Personally did not take it seriously; not sure if anyone does. I just felt it wasn't as funny as some other teams, but felt a couple good bits were in there. The comments are funnier than the article. I thought the bears was one of the best. That is what is so great Bout pinions. :th2thumbs:

 

[Sgt. Largent]

You don't see the over the top calculated fake-esque personality of Wilson? Or how it's easy to root against Sherman cause he's such a I'm the greatest loud mouth? Or Pete's smugness (hell someone even made a gif of a monocled Pete strutting down the sideline for God's sake)? Or how our fan's can be obnoxious?

Sure, Wilson does give canned interview responses and he obviously cares a lot about his image, his faith and his branding. That's dorky but not really that funny? He didn't talk about Sherman, the Pete thing is a meme enabled by his tragic gum habit, and every fan base is obnoxious.

Not sure how you could miss the Sherman rank, as it's the first thing he ranks on, WITH a giant gif.

I mean… is there any athlete on Earth you pity less in defeat than this man?

Are you one of those people Agent that prefaces all your comedic criticisms with "I have a very good sense of humor......but I just didn't find Old School funny at all?"

 

[StoneCold]

I thought it was at times funny, at other times over stating, and generally didn't take any of it seriously. But whether the reasons to hate the Hawks are real or not those are all things that opposing fans latch onto and use to fuel their hate for our team. I don't care, it doesn't bother me a bit. I do the same thing with other teams. I would still like to see Ricardo come back from the dead to record my bit. I think that would be damn funny.

 

[AgentDib]

I'm sorry to say this, but the Seahawks fan base has become FAR more obnoxious than it ever has been, after our magical 2013 season... debates were more civil, different perspectives were welcomed and encouraged. What I get from Seahawk fans now a days is a more combative, abrasive vibe. If you need proof, look no further than Kearly's random thoughts threads...

Your experience on an internet forum may have degraded some over time as posters turned over, and the audience grew younger relative to yourself. Personally I thought discussion was better just about everywhere pre-twitter and pre-TMZ, but that's not a reflection on Seahawk fans specifically. I'm fortunate enough to have been a Hawks fan for a long time - as well attend a lot of opposing games - and there was nothing in CLink last year that was fundamentally worse than in the Kingdome twenty years ago or in other stadiums. The handfuls of people who post on rivals message boards are a statistically insignificant portion of the larger fan base.

 

[Slick]

It's awesome and totally hits the mark on some things.

Our fanbase is the worst in the NFL. 99% of our fans don't know who Rufus Porter is. Probably around 89% don't know who Lofa Tatupu is either except maybe as a coach.

I agree, we also have the most white trash in our stands of any team in the NFL.

 

[Cartire]

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks ... 1728783368

There, the final one, and its the Patriots. And its a doozy. You thought he hated on us, just read through this hate speech.

You ****** dirty cheating lying scumbag racist asswipe ****face toilet people. Forget the stupid ballboy sneaking footballs into the shitter just so Brady could have a saggy tit to throw around against the Colts. Now we know for certain that this whole fiasco went down because the rest of the NFL wanted this team punished for cheating in a THOUSAND different ways: spying, hacking, scuffing, pine tarring, stealing play sheets, cribbing notes, shredded evidence, embezzling, suspiciously preventing fumbles, racketeering, cooked books, cut brakes, arson, pipe bombs, booby traps, bear traps, trap doors, illegal formations, secret **** dungeons, satellite reconnaissance, visitor’s room glory hole cameras, x-ray playsheet analysis, Clomid planted in Robert Mathis’s glove box, MURDER. Tell me a way in which the Patriots have engaged in deliberate subterfuge, and I will believe it.

Just a small sample so you can see he does this to every team, but obviously, he really sank his teeth into these guys.

(edited, but there was a lot and I might have missed some. sorry)

 

[Scottemojo]

Sometimes I read these and the fan posts at the end seem real.

This time they did not, for the most part.

But otherwise pretty funny.

 

[kearly]

I'm sorry to say this, but the Seahawks fan base has become FAR more obnoxious than it ever has been, after our magical 2013 season.

I actually love how the 12s can be obnoxious in many ways. Their pride drives them to be loud on gamedays, and these days they can even be a force on road games. There is nothing more awesome than hearing Sea! Hawks! chants taking over another team's stadium, and hearing the boos from the annoyed home fans.

 

[Kennedyin92]

#12 doesn't get injured, traded or hold out for more money. Sounds like the best jersey to me.

I wouldn't say that #12 never gets injured (I've sprained my ankle and broken bones before), but I agree with the latter two points.

 

[BlueTalon]

I thought it was at times funny, at other times over stating, and generally didn't take any of it seriously. But whether the reasons to hate the Hawks are real or not those are all things that opposing fans latch onto and use to fuel their hate for our team.

That's exactly why I didn't read the whole thing. I can get any of that same tripe on other team's message boards.

I read part of it. A few bits were amusing, but mostly it was pedantic.

 

[Cartire]

I thought it was at times funny, at other times over stating, and generally didn't take any of it seriously. But whether the reasons to hate the Hawks are real or not those are all things that opposing fans latch onto and use to fuel their hate for our team.

That's exactly why I didn't read the whole thing. I can get any of that same tripe on other team's message boards.

I read part of it. A few bits were amusing, but mostly it was pedantic.

The highbrow is astonishing. Its a satire piece, and you dont care for it. Thats fine, but get off the high horse.

 

[Ad Hawk]

I thought it was at times funny, at other times over stating, and generally didn't take any of it seriously. But whether the reasons to hate the Hawks are real or not those are all things that opposing fans latch onto and use to fuel their hate for our team.

That's exactly why I didn't read the whole thing. I can get any of that same tripe on other team's message boards.

I read part of it. A few bits were amusing, but mostly it was pedantic.

The highbrow is astonishing. Its a satire piece, and you dont care for it. Thats fine, but get off the high horse.

Post, not the poster. Wow!

He doesn't find it amusing, and neither did I. It was poor humor: a bit of overstatement with a dose of sarcasm. Not much was clever or original. Mostly, just negativity. I wouldn't read this about any other team, either. Not a high-horse, just a different appreciation of humor.