Why your team sucks

[Sarlacc83]

Denver Donkeys.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-denver-broncos-1727238512

Colts tomorrow, Packers Friday, Hawks Monday, Cheatriots Tuesday.

Monday is going to be painful.

 

[Maulbert]

Green Bay Pukers.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-green-bay-packers-1728711018

This one's pretty funny. All the bitching about the NFC Championship. Love it!

 

[Threedee]

The Ravens one was pretty awesome.

Your Team: RAY LEWIS RAY RICE RAY LEWIS RAY RICE... STAB PUNCH STAB PUNCH... I mean, the Baltimore Ravens. Sorry. Force of habit.

 

[Maulbert]

Us.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-seattle-seahawks-1728720266

Surprised there's not a single mention of Kam.

 

[Sarlacc83]

Us.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-seattle-seahawks-1728720266

Surprised there's not a single mention of Kam.

This was surprisingly cathartic.

 

[Maulbert]

Us.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-seattle-seahawks-1728720266

Surprised there's not a single mention of Kam.

This was surprisingly cathartic.

The only 'criticism' that annoyed me was the guy who said the Cowboys curb stomped us. Since when is 7 points a curb stomping?

 

[FortWorthSeahawk]

Us.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-seattle-seahawks-1728720266

Surprised there's not a single mention of Kam.

This gave me a laugh:

"80% of our fans are the worst kind of bandwagoners. Most probably think Brian Blades is a TMNT villain and Cortez Kennedy was a Massachusetts senator."

 

[SnoCoHawk]

The Seahawks one seems a bit half-hearted. The best one was Green Bay, because you can tell he really hates them with the fire of a thousand suns.

 

[Popeyejones]

The Seahawks one seems a bit half-hearted. The best one was Green Bay, because you can tell he really hates them with the fire of a thousand suns.

Funny, because I thought the Hawks one was good and the 9ers one was a bit half-hearted, given how amazing all the ammo is for them this year.

Maybe it's just that when it's your own team you already know everything they'll hit on and have already spent a ton of time thinking about all the things they're summarizing.

 

[HAWKAMANIA]

The “12th man” or “12’s” as they like to be called are a bunch of drunken divorced dads that spend 1/2 of their annual income on tickets and Rolling Rock drafts in the stadium. After every home game these hammered dipshits pile into their raised rigs, and swerve an hour and a half back to one of the hell holes surrounding Seattle.These miscreants then park their clunkers on the lawn, take a piss in their above ground pools, and pass out face first on their carpeted stairs. blank the “12’s”.

This has Enumclaw written all over it.

 

[Threedee]

The problem Magary has writing the Seahawks issue is that he enjoys talking about the craziness surrounding Pete and Russell too much, that it somewhat distracts him from other things with which he could probably hit harder.

Also, his attack on the fan base is going to be tepid when he has already destroyed the fans of such teams as DC, Philly, Oakland, Dallass, Detroit, and Baltimore. Raiders and Eagles fans are such notorious douchebags that having the 12s referred to as wimpy bandwagoners is going to come off light.

 

[Maulbert]

The Seahawks one seems a bit half-hearted. The best one was Green Bay, because you can tell he really hates them with the fire of a thousand suns.

Funny, because I thought the Hawks one was good and the 9ers one was a bit half-hearted, given how amazing all the ammo is for them this year.

Maybe it's just that when it's your own team you already know everything they'll hit on and have already spent a ton of time thinking about all the things they're summarizing.

I disagree. I think the Niners one was probably the harshest one in the series this year. If you feel he missed something, it's probably because he had so many targets.

 

[Maulbert]

Cheatriots.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-new-england-patriots-1728783368

Last one.

 

[RedAlice]

I enjoyed the Hawk one - it was an enjoyable read and the Wilson part was funny and the Carroll part smirky. As has been said above, the Lynch part fell flat - you would think a media guy could do a better job making fun of a guy who hates the media. Guess, the writer couldn't make fun of himself enough to make something funny out of that.

The Pats one is just too true regarding the cheating to be funny, even as satire. Woulda been funnier to just publish one big huge asterisk - as nothing he said was better than that.