Why your team sucks

[Maulbert]

Bungles.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-cincinnati-bengals-1725399813

 

[Sac]

I feel like there were far more fan comments in this one. And they didn't disappoint. Unfortunately, most of the best ones can only be posted in the Shack.

Not true; here's the best one:

"I've heard Washington fans say that they won't live to see the team be good again because Dan Snyder is only 50 and he'll never sell.

Jed York is only 35."

 

[Threedee]

It was fun watching Dalton throw two picks last night. The first one was Green's fault, but he just continues to live up to the impressions everyone has of him. As people are fond of saying around here, Dalton is already up to mid-season form.

 

[Maulbert]

Pissburgh Stealers.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-pittsburgh-steelers-1725629956

 

[Laloosh]

I laughed...

I wouldn’t trust Jim Tomsula with a hoagie, let alone a football team.

 

[hawksfansinceday1]

..........I don't know anyone that actually gets to "ride" their Harley. Most of the time I talk to guys that own a Harley, their Harley is either in parts in their garage or at the shop getting worked on..................

Such a tired, tired cliche that hasn't been relevant about Harleys for quite a number of years.

Just to let you know, I bought mine in the Spring of '09 (it's an '06 Road King) with 7200 miles on it. It now has over 84,000 miles and I've had ONE, yes ONE what might be called major repair that cost me $700 including labor. I have had two other minor issues that with help from a friend who is actually mechanically inclined I was able to take care of myself. Not bad for 77,000 miles of riding.

 

[rideaducati]

..........I don't know anyone that actually gets to "ride" their Harley. Most of the time I talk to guys that own a Harley, their Harley is either in parts in their garage or at the shop getting worked on..................

Such a tired, tired cliche that hasn't been relevant about Harleys for quite a number of years.

Just to let you know, I bought mine in the Spring of '09 (it's an '06 Road King) with 7200 miles on it. It now has over 84,000 miles and I've had ONE, yes ONE what might be called major repair that cost me $700 including labor. I have had two other minor issues that with help from a friend who is actually mechanically inclined I was able to take care of myself. Not bad for 77,000 miles of riding.

Well, you don't have to be too mechanically inclined to fix a Harley...the most technologically advanced item on a Harley is the electric horn. How often to you have to tighten every nut and bolt on it so nothing falls off?

I'm just kidding around and razzing a fellow Seahawk fan. Nothing beats a cool cruise along a nice winding road on a bike, no matter the make. I still can't ride anything with two wheels and an engine without a smile on my face, even a Harley.

Have a good day and be careful. Those people driving four wheelers are crazy.

 

[Lords of Scythia]

Do the math, two negatives equal a positive......................

Or in the Seahawks case what goes up must come down. :th2thumbs:

Or, in the rams case, bricks don't bounce.

Wrong again. It depends upon the surface they hit. :th2thumbs:

What if it's a guy's head in the Niners stadium public toilets?

 

[Maulbert]

Lions. Cardinals are up tomorrow.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-detroit-lions-1726087529

 

[Maulbert]

Arizona/St. Louis/Chicago Cardinals!

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-arizona-cardinals-1726389620

Palmer was in the middle of an uncommonly turnover-free stretch of play when he went down last season. That isn’t happening again. Even if Palmer remains healthy [stifles laughter], there is a 100 percent chance he will revert to throwing five thousand interceptions a year. And they’re always DAMAGING picks. When Drew Brees throws a pick, you’re usually like, “Well, that was pretty much like a punt!” When Carson Palmer throws a pick, it’s a 45-point swing.

Our coach doesn’t believe in stretching before games.

Darnell Dockett - ACL tear

Punter - groin injury

Palmer - ACL tear

LB Shaughnessy - Knee & Shoulder injuries

Mathieu - shitty knee

Calais Campbell - sprined MCL

Fitzgerald - sprained ACL

Ellington - hernia

Staton - knee sprain

Daryl Washington - drugs and domestic violence

Am I saying that not stretching caused that last one?

No, but I’m not saying it didn’t.

 

[Maulbert]

Carolina Panthers.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-#-2015-carolina-panthers-1726641363

I live just outside of Charleston, SC. I was so excited last season to make the playoffs, if that’s what we’re gonna call last season. We decided to get a group of friends together at Buffalo Wild Wings to watch them face the Seahawks in the Divisional Round of the playoffs.

I had a table of 4 Panthers fans. If you add up the rest of the Panthers fans at BWW, we were still outnumbered by at least 20 pretend Seahawks fans.

When Cam Newton threw a pick six, I was the only Panthers fan left in BWW and was being made fun of and ridiculed by a bunch of people who had never even been to Seattle.

My pride and humility was ruined at Buffalo Wild Wings... and it was my birthday.

 

[Maulbert]

Baltimore Ravens.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-baltimore-ravens-1726937950

Cowbutts tomorrow.

 

[NINEster]

Arizona/St. Louis/Chicago Cardinals!

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-arizona-cardinals-1726389620

Palmer was in the middle of an uncommonly turnover-free stretch of play when he went down last season. That isn’t happening again. Even if Palmer remains healthy [stifles laughter], there is a 100 percent chance he will revert to throwing five thousand interceptions a year. And they’re always DAMAGING picks. When Drew Brees throws a pick, you’re usually like, “Well, that was pretty much like a punt!” When Carson Palmer throws a pick, it’s a 45-point swing.

Our coach doesn’t believe in stretching before games.

Darnell Dockett - ACL tear

Punter - groin injury

Palmer - ACL tear

LB Shaughnessy - Knee & Shoulder injuries

Mathieu - shitty knee

Calais Campbell - sprined MCL

Fitzgerald - sprained ACL

Ellington - hernia

Staton - knee sprain

Daryl Washington - drugs and domestic violence

Am I saying that not stretching caused that last one?

No, but I’m not saying it didn’t.

Palmer once threw 4 picks and still won a game.

 

[NINEster]

Carolina Panthers.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-#-2015-carolina-panthers-1726641363

I live just outside of Charleston, SC. I was so excited last season to make the playoffs, if that’s what we’re gonna call last season. We decided to get a group of friends together at Buffalo Wild Wings to watch them face the Seahawks in the Divisional Round of the playoffs.

I had a table of 4 Panthers fans. If you add up the rest of the Panthers fans at BWW, we were still outnumbered by at least 20 pretend Seahawks fans.

When Cam Newton threw a pick six, I was the only Panthers fan left in BWW and was being made fun of and ridiculed by a bunch of people who had never even been to Seattle.

My pride and humility was ruined at Buffalo Wild Wings... and it was my birthday.

I lived in Charleston, SC for 2 1/2 years....from 2010 to 2012. From Matt Moore to Cam Newton, and the revival of the 49ers.

There are no Panthers or Falcons fans there, despite that being part of their TV market.

It's college football town all the way....Clemson, South Carolina.

Only two of my friends from Charleston are Panthers fans. And I'm not so sure I'd lose a trivia contest against them about '90s Panthers football.

 

[Maulbert]

Dallass Cowbutts.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-dallas-cowboys-1727212555

 

[Maulbert]

Denver Donkeys.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-denver-broncos-1727238512

Colts tomorrow, Packers Friday, Hawks Monday, Cheatriots Tuesday.

 

[HAWKAMANIA]

Dallass Cowbutts.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-dallas-cowboys-1727212555

Cowboys fans are the worst.

 

[Maulbert]

Colts.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-indianapolis-colts-1728020622

 

[RolandDeschain]

I didn't realize Deadspin was doing a real-life accurate documentary on Luck for the Colts "Why Your Team Sucks" article. :179417:

 

[London12]

Ohhh I somehow didn't realise they did every team. Looking forward to ours!