Why your team sucks

[Rex]

I think I heard the same spouting on the "Who will cover the Rams" thread from 2013. http://www.seahawks.net/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=70155 Haven't seen either of those rams fans in over a year and the one that started the thread left on Sept 6th of that year never to be heard from again. Like most, they disappeared after the regular season started 1-3 for the rams.

They could have been banned and said the heck with it.

 

[Rex]

I see the regular season about to start. Rex, you have kutzpa I like it. Question for you? You going to stick around after week one? I believe Pstime will after week two but he has Erin Rodgers and you have Nick Foles....

I'll be here barring another 3 month time out. :141847_bnono: I dropped Direct TV after they made my blood boil for the last time so I'm going with Game Pass so I won't see the game until after the sunday night game ends. Which means sometime monday morning for me to either serve or eat the crow. :0190l:

You won't be serving crow around here and if you're like most, you won't be here to eat it either.

You better wear your bib.

 

[Rex]

I would like you to stay around, as I think the more Rams fans the better. As the season gets going it gets better. Also, it annoys me when Rams fans suddenly go away during the season.

However, do you think you could slow it down on the emotes?

Your'e making a mockery of that red thing.

I'll stick around. My good friend is a misguided Seahawks fan so I've already seen the raspberries and the whining in emails. I like the smilies since I'm a positive guy. I love that red woohoo. That is how I feel. It's me personified that the Rams are tied for 1st place. I wish it was blue and gold though but mockery? No.

 

[Maulbert]

Cleveland Browns up!

I do these previews every year, and frankly I’m just wasting my time with the other 31 teams. The Browns are the original suck. They are the epicenter of suck. And it wasn’t always this way. Back in the 80s, the Browns used to be star-crossed but respectable. They failed NOBLY. That is no longer the case. As always, these are the impostor Browns. Ever watch a horror movie where a kid dies and the parents bring him back thanks to black magic and/or cloning and there’s something off about the new kid? That’s what the Browns are now. They are the demon child. Ever since their unholy resurrection in 1999, this franchise and its fans have been determined to degrade themselves in every conceivable way. I can’t bear to look anymore.

 

[rideaducati]

I see the regular season about to start. Rex, you have kutzpa I like it. Question for you? You going to stick around after week one? I believe Pstime will after week two but he has Erin Rodgers and you have Nick Foles....

I'll be here barring another 3 month time out. :141847_bnono: I dropped Direct TV after they made my blood boil for the last time so I'm going with Game Pass so I won't see the game until after the sunday night game ends. Which means sometime monday morning for me to either serve or eat the crow. :0190l:

You won't be serving crow around here and if you're like most, you won't be here to eat it either.

You better wear your bib.

I won't be standing close to you while you eat it, so I won't need a bib.

 

[HAWKAMANIA]

My favorite fan comment today;

I don’t know what it is like to see the brand new schedule for the season and realize that you get to play the Cleveland Browns, but I imagine it is a great feeling.

 

[Maulbert]

Saints up!

They ended the year with 5 straight home losses, and if they’d won one of those games, they’d have gone 8-8 and won the division.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-new-orleans-saints-1723604846

 

[HAWKAMANIA]

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks ... 1723853194
Chargers

 

[Maulbert]

Houston up!

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-houston-texans-1724117994

Your 2014 record: 9-7. That record translates to 16-0 if you plug in anything better than a desk lamp at quarterback.

 

[Maulbert]

Tomorrow is the 49ers. Can't wait!

 

[Maulbert]

San Francisco is up! It's @#$&ing hilarious.

The broadcast announcers ALWAYS mention that Kaep threw a 97MPH fastball in college. Without fail he will then throw a 97MPH missile to a receiver four yards away, one who clearly isn’t done with his route, which bounces off the dude’s chest into Richard Sherman’s awaiting arms. At this point, I am more curious as to Kaep’s lifetime free throw percentage.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-san-francisco-49ers-1724542048

 

[HAWKAMANIA]

Niners!
http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-san-francisco-49ers-1724542048

(Jim McKay voice) They’re gone. They’re all gone. As you are aware, the San Francisco 49ers were murdered by Jed York this offseason… their assets liquidated, moved to a shipping container south of town and formally placed in the trust of an umbrella holding company called Alphaturd.

 

[Sarlacc83]

Niners!
http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-san-francisco-49ers-1724542048

This one was a work of art.

 

[HAWKAMANIA]

I feel like there were far more fan comments in this one. And they didn't disappoint. Unfortunately, most of the best ones can only be posted in the Shack.

 

[Threedee]

Truly epic. "All of their players retired or got arrested."

 

[Maulbert]

Bills up.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-buffalo-bills-1724824323

The last time we won a playoff game, Don Shula was the opposing coach.

 

[Maulbert]

Chiefs up.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-kansas-city-chiefs-1725050368

Our fanbase has this dumb, weird vendetta against Seattle and the “loudest NFL stadium” idiocy. IT DOESN’T MATTER IF OUR STADIUM IS LOUDER WHEN THEY WENT TO THE GODDAMN SUPERBOWL YOU [CENSORED].

 

[Threedee]

I figured he would make references to the bizarre no WR TDs stat from last season. I was watching the final Chiefs game during Week 17, when a WR came within a couple of inches of scoring, only to be stripped, have the ball bounce right into Travis Kelce's hands, and thus secure another TE TD for the Chiefs.

 

[Maulbert]

Eagles up.

http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-philadelphia-eagles-1725165274

Your quarterback: Not Marcus Mariota. This offseason, Kelly shipped away Nick Foles, who is not Marcus Mariota, along with a draft pick (that did not become Marcus Mariota) for Sam Bradford, who is ALSO not Marcus Mariota. In fact, Sam Bradford is so far from being Marcus Mariota as to be his diametric opposite: fragile, immobile, unreliable, and at the very tail end of his potential. You’re not gonna believe this, but the Eagles say Bradford “looks great” in practice this summer. He’s so sharp! Why, I bet he’s feels healthier than he’s ever felt! He’s really ready this time, guys! Nothing is gonna stop him from...

******AS WE SPEAK BRADFORD IS STRUCK BY AN ONCOMING CSX FREIGHT TRAIN******

Aw, man! And he was doing so well!

 

[Threedee]

Chip Kelly is such great media fodder. I wonder if he ever will coach Mariota again.